When you choose to be positive, you choose your future. — Unknown
Woke up way too early again on a Saturday morning. I have been working through a lot of personal stuff and the thoughts are noisy and intrusive. I’ve always loved Brené Brown’s advice to sit in the discomfort of one’s vulnerability, because exposure to discomfort builds tolerance and resilience. So I’m choosing to sit with the head full of noise. Picking out the strands that I can pick out will help, and telling myself those that I can’t can stay jumbled. They’re for sorting out another day.
@yellywelly
We’re told these days that we can choose our future, that we can control what happens to us. If we manifest using specific words, if we behave a certain way, if we one day decide to radically change our lives in pursuit of the future we want, if we eat less/more of certain foods…it all boils down to controlling something we haven’t even experienced yet.
The only thing we can control is how we react to our environment. We react to our environment through small daily actions that become routine and habitual. When things become routine, they become predictable. This is how you can predict the future.
“But predictable is boring!” I’m sure a lot of you will say. And to that I say, NO IT IS NOT! When we habitually strive to find joy, when we routinely try to look for the positive, it becomes second nature, it becomes part of who we are, and that’s how we bake positivity and hope into our future. When we choose to view everything as potentially filled with light and joy, we choose a future filled with exactly that. The future will always be an unknown quantity, but if we sit with the knowledge that, whatever it is, there will always be hope that it could be shining, shimmering, splendid, that is the exciting part of it all.
What small thing will you do today that your future self will thank you for?
Success is a journey, and every single day is a beautiful mile. — Unknown
I’m going through quite an anxious period in my life. Because it feels like everything is up in the air and I don’t necessarily know which way is up. I have this list of (inspirational) quotes and, because I’m pedantic and persnickety (I also like old, interesting terms), I will go through the list, one item at a time, in order. I’m in the section of my quotes that seems to be one quote after another about success. It’s making me anxious because, what have I got to say about success? My current situation feels more like a disaster, and so far removed from success.
But okay, let’s not make this about me. Or at least, let’s try.
What is your definition of success? Some people are planners, and success is ticking off items on a list to get to the end of a project. Some people are thinkers, and success is finally arriving at a conclusion after testing ideas. Some people are creatives, and success is finally breathing life into a body of work. But all this is success in relation to productivity. For some people, there is no need to produce; success is being able to have a good day, to have a chance to laugh, to breathe, to just be.
Is it just me, or does society these days focus on having something to point to, where we say, “I made that!” It just feels like we’re on this perpetual hamster wheel of production. It feels like everything has become a commodity and the measure of success relates to a list of assets, and in order to build that list, one has to either produce or acquire.
I enjoy pace and I enjoy the challenge of finding solutions right away. I know I can sprint along with the best of them. But lately, I’ve been feeling exhausted. I’ve been questioning the constant need to chase…everything. Maybe this is why I feel so lost, so disconnected. Maybe I’m missing being able to have time and space. Because while I know I can do things quickly and efficiently, I like to be able to process, at a pace that is my own, in an environment that is less frenzied and frantic. But when success is only measured by what you can show for yourself, the journey — the wrestling, the questioning, the becoming — gets dismissed as inefficiency. But that part of the journey is where the real work happens.
Have we forgotten to appreciate the time it takes to travel? Have we forgotten that the journey isn’t just merely arriving at the destination? Have we forgotten that it’s the experiences between departure and arrival that make the journey? That’s where the lessons are learned. That’s where the memories are made. That’s where the experience is created, where expertise is gained. Because while you have a destination in mind, the things that happen in between change where you get to.
So I watched The Life List on Netflix again, and, of course, I bawled like a baby! I promise no spoilers, especially if you haven’t seen it. It’s the kind of girly romance movie that presents an idealized, pre-packaged view of love and romantic relationships. I’m not a cynic, not by a long shot (I’ve read too many Julia Quinn novels several times over to be jaded), to be cynical about love, even after the implosion of a relationship that I thought would last forever. I do sometimes smirk at the sugar coma sweetness of the Hallmark Channel formula movies. But the “true love test” in the movie had me thinking. In the film, it said that if you could answer yes to each of the 4 questions below, it was TRUE LOVE.
1 Are they kind?
2 Can you tell them everything that’s in your heart?
3 Do they help you become the best version of yourself?
4 Can you imagine them as the father/mother of your children?
The questions make me smile. Because I can hear myself saying to someone at 25, “Love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a decision.” and seeing their look of confusion (in hindsight, that should’ve been a red flag, but I ignored it) and me patiently explaining what I meant.
Love is a decision. It’s a commitment. Because you decide, for better or for worse (whether it involves the permanency of marriage or not), to love this person, in the good and bad days, when tempers flare and patience wanes, when the sickness is disgusting, when the ick is hard to shift and when disagreements happen. It’s a commitment to stay and work things out, even when things get tough, damnedly uncomfortable and when they don’t particularly look rosy. It’s a promise to stay. It’s a vow to work on improving, changing for the better, and growing together. It’s saying “I got you” to this person and really having them, making sure they know you have them. It’s a pledge to stay accountable to this person. It is an unwritten but very binding contract to work through the warts, farts and smarts that come with adult relationships.
Being loved is an intrinsic need because it encapsulates affection, respect, acceptance, protection, and accountability. Every person has a deep-seated need for it, whether they care to admit it. Love isn’t easy but if you have it, wouldn’t you want to hold on to it, nurture it and cultivate it?
One thing that never ceases to surprise is me is how quick the passage of time is. Blink and you’ll miss it. I’ve always said that time flies, even when you’re not having fun.
I received news yesterday – I knew it was coming but I didn’t expect to receive it so soon. The quickness of receiving the news was surprising which was probably why I was unsettled when I first read the message. What quickly followed was relief…and then the feeling of “now what?”
Then, as usual, I went down the rabbit hole of thinking up possible (but very improbable) scenarios, which I’m prone to do because I’m an overthinking (work in progress yes, but still an overthinker!). But the difference is, this time, I noticed the signs and told myself to stop. After a figurative shake-it-off session, I managed to slow down the downward thought spiral.
I need to let it go. Because it’s something I can’t control. The only thing I can control is my reaction to the situation. And my course of action: move on and let it go.
I do love my little junkets to London Town. The city feels alive, like it’s an actual living organism, it’s got moods too (yes, I know, waxing poetic about a city is a bit cliché but I really do adore London!), and there’s always something new to see, even in places that I often frequent. I also love how native Londoners love London. You see their appreciation on their Instagram accounts.
I’m putting it out there. I want to move to London. I want to live in a place that doesn’t shut down at 5 or 6PM. So that’ll be my goal, to find myself actually living and working in that cosmopolitan city that I love. I know it comes with all the negatives: the high cost of living (the rent and property prices are horrendously overpriced), the pollution, the crush during morning and afternoon rush hours, the almost constant deluge of tourists (the foreign students on a school trip are the worst!). Despite all that (especially the high cost of living), I’d still want to live and work in a city that’s constantly alive and buzzing. I miss that.
Here’s a photo taken from Tower 42 from Open House London just this past weekend.
So apart from my plan to be organised, I need to mobilise!
Next question: does anyone need a highly organised executive assistant that has experience in travel, event management, association management, and has worked in the tax department of an accounting firm? 🙂
Yellywelly 