When you choose to be positive, you choose your future. — Unknown
Woke up way too early again on a Saturday morning. I have been working through a lot of personal stuff and the thoughts are noisy and intrusive. I’ve always loved Brené Brown’s advice to sit in the discomfort of one’s vulnerability, because exposure to discomfort builds tolerance and resilience. So I’m choosing to sit with the head full of noise. Picking out the strands that I can pick out will help, and telling myself those that I can’t can stay jumbled. They’re for sorting out another day.
@yellywelly
We’re told these days that we can choose our future, that we can control what happens to us. If we manifest using specific words, if we behave a certain way, if we one day decide to radically change our lives in pursuit of the future we want, if we eat less/more of certain foods…it all boils down to controlling something we haven’t even experienced yet.
The only thing we can control is how we react to our environment. We react to our environment through small daily actions that become routine and habitual. When things become routine, they become predictable. This is how you can predict the future.
“But predictable is boring!” I’m sure a lot of you will say. And to that I say, NO IT IS NOT! When we habitually strive to find joy, when we routinely try to look for the positive, it becomes second nature, it becomes part of who we are, and that’s how we bake positivity and hope into our future. When we choose to view everything as potentially filled with light and joy, we choose a future filled with exactly that. The future will always be an unknown quantity, but if we sit with the knowledge that, whatever it is, there will always be hope that it could be shining, shimmering, splendid, that is the exciting part of it all.
What small thing will you do today that your future self will thank you for?
I’ve heard it said so many times and in a multitude of iterations: If you have something to do, do it. Do it now. Before fear or self-doubt takes hold!
I’m a planner…and a procrastinator. I hide the procrastination behind beautifully engineered plans that are, eventually, expertly executed. My mom was also famously a don’t-do-until-due person. She did everything flawlessly too, but under great haste. I always used to joke that my procrastination was genetic.
One day, I read somewhere that procrastination was fear of failure in disguise. And THAT was a lightbulb moment. It felt like a string of fairly lights started twinkling! In my case, it was most certainly the most lethal of combinations: my need for perfection and my fear of failure. I was putting off doing things because my nervous system saw the situation or task as a threat — because in my head I was going to fail spectacularly, people would l see me as a fraud, and I would again, get tangible proof that I am inept, incapable, and a complete impostor.
I am learning to stop listening to the Negative Nancy in my head. Because I know what I can do and I am actually really capable. I am learning to face the wall of anxiety and tackle the paralysis. I am:
🏷️ Naming it: Fear of failure / missing the mark
🔨 Breaking it down into manageable tasks
⏱️ Giving myself 10/15 mins to accomplish tasks
🧘🏻♀️Forcing myself to breathe through the anxiety.
I am a work in progress. But I am naming my imperfections. I am naming my fears. I am facing them. Slowly. Surely. One by one.
I know that every day is different. Life, these days, seems to be more challenging than usual. So many people have been saying that they’re finding everyday that little bit more difficult.
I’d like a purely good day, though. One where I don’t have to pivot the mindset. I know the low mood might have something to do with my recent anxiety issues. Nevertheless, I’d like a really good day, please. Or at least a pause in the sleep deprivation, the overthinking, and the over-worrying. I’m exhausted.
I’d really like to have the opportunity to get off the spinning world for a bit and just be in a bubble.
Yes, yes, I realise that that might be called a vacation. But going away for a holiday is a band-aid. I’d like to not to rip the band-aid off. I realise that there is a lot of work to be done and I am prepared to work. But really, I’d just like a sunshiny, smiley, happy day.
Yellywelly 