Soooooooooo…I received a very interesting phone call yesterday afternoon. Last Friday I was on the receiving end of a hard sell cold call. Coming from a call centre background, I do have a few years of phone-based customer service experience and that phone conversation was particularly uncomfortable. So I wrote about the experience and put it out on social media.
Who should call me yesterday but the sales manager of the company because apparently one of their directors saw what I wrote about my experience. I got an apology and an acknowledgement that their agents should get training on the hard sell vs the soft cell. They asked me if I could take the post down because their company name was on it, with the caveat that my concerns would be taken into consideration when training their agents. So on the basis of that conversation, I am placing faith in that telephone conversation, that blog entry is now marked private. I hope they deliver on the soft skills training! I wouldn’t want anyone else to go through what I went through.
I didn’t think I should delete that blog entry because even if I’m the only one that sees the post from now on, it will remind me of the power of social media. It will remind me of how magnified one’s voice can be if channeled responsibly.
This book has sat in my Kindle for a while. I loved the title and I loved what it professed to teach me. BUT I’ve not had the courage to read it. It will take a lot of courage to read a book that will probably suggest I do things that are completely alien to me.
I have always known that I am a person who cared too much about everything. I’ve mostly ever really cared about other people more than myself (let’s face it, when you’re the eldest child you’re taught to consider other people, take care of other people, be a shining example and paragon of virtue for other people, be perfect for other people to look up to…etc., etc.!). Mostly because during the times when I’ve actually put myself first, the resulting situations were disastrous and I ended up hurting so many other people. So I usually steer clear from what I think are actions that might be construed as “selfish” and “putting myself first.” Which is, in hindsight, probably why I feel like I’m in a state of arrested development. It’s because I’ve put others first before wanting to do what I want to do.
In the last 18 months, I’ve come to realise that I do have to put myself first. No one, not even the people who profess to love me (save a handful of people), have actually done what I’ve done for them: consider me before themselves.
I’ve read reviews about Sarah Knight’s book and I find my interest extremely piqued. One review says it’s Oprah-esque wisdom with Amy Schumer swearing. Now that sounds hilarious.
So…without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, the book that will be accompanying me on the train journey for the next few days. See y’all on the other side!
Alan will be making feijoada tonight so that is an absolute treat and completely comforting. But I find that because of the weather I am craving a lot of Asian food at the moment. I am particularly wishing we lived in London so that I can order Korean food from Deliveroo!
I would love, at the moment, to be able to indulge in a large half soy half spicy platter of On The Bab’s yang yeum Korean fried chicken.
Pairing that with their spicy pork buns
…and just to be completely stuffed, I’d like to finish it with a warm and comforting bowl of bibimbap!
So this little girl is celebrating her birthday today…well at least it is still her birthday here today. I wish I could hug her and say how proud I am of her, of how she has taken on so much responsibility. I wish I could tell her that I so believe in her capabilities and that I believe she can do anything she puts her mind to.
I hope you had the most amazing birthday Duckie! I know that William being well and truly married and Harry not really finished looking for himself is a huge disappointment, but remember this:
No is such a difficult thing to say…at least for people like me who are people pleasers. To me saying no meant I was letting people down, I was being selfish, I was being mean and I was being unhelpful.
I’ve had a lot of time to think about work, and learn about my weaknesses and how I can improve my performance at work. It’s not necessarily a new epiphany, but it has actually hit home that I have to stop saying yes to everyone asking me to do something for them. I have to choose the situations where I say yes. Steve Jobs said it best when he said that “It’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on things that are more important.”
For a while, I lost sight of what I should have thought was important to me. In my deep desire to be helpful to everyone, I allowed myself to take on too much. I stopped taking care of me because I was too busy trying to be everything to everyone. But the universe does look after you. I realised, in the nick of time, that this was a habit that I had to stop. I had to concentrate on me, what I thought was important. I realised that if I took care of myself, and what I needed to do first, I would be in a better position to help others.
I also learned that saying no can also be a wonderful teaching mechanism, especially at work. I find it hard to refuse anyone who asks for help, especially in circumstances where I know I can. I’ve learned, though, that sometimes, it’s not always up to you to help. Sometimes you have to step aside so that you allow people to do their job. Sometimes, even if it takes longer to teach people than to do the job yourself, it is still best to teach them how to do the task instead of taking the task away from them. If you take the task away, you take away the learning opportunity.
It still pains me to say no. But I’m working on putting myself first. I wasn’t raised to think that it was okay to take care of Number One first – Number One being myself. But now I’m beginning to realise that there is wisdom in putting oneself first.
Saying no is good. It gives you the opportunity to say yes to something even better.
So tomorrow is another Monday, one that is likely to be manic. I know I should make sure I look forward to things, and I am. Honestly. But I am also being realistic.
I am (very truly) thankful for each morning. I am thankful for each workday because I can meet my step goal for the day. I have a few things already on my to-do list but that’s okay. Every morning is new and filled with exciting possibilities!
So this is my book pile. I’m not entirely sure how long this is going to take me to finish all these books but here goes nothing!
In my to-read list (from top to bottom and not in any order of importance):
- Our Kind Of Traitor by John Le Carré
- Get Started On Food Writing by Kerstin Rodgers (aka @MsMarmiteLover)
- The Girl On The Train by Paula Hawkins (reading it for the nth time!)
- Brave Enough by Cheryl Strayed
- Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss
- Get Rich Blogging by Zoe Griffin
- Girl Friday by Jane Green
- Voracious by Cara Nicoletti (attempting a second read without munching on anything!)
Lord knows when I’m going to finish it, but I’m going to try!