Yelly Writes

The quiet times

“When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence.” ― Ansel Adams

I’ve always had something to say, an opinion to express, or an argument to make.  My family encouraged vocal discourse; my father’s family fostered an environment where dry, sarcastic humour was used to drive home a point; my mother’s family encouraged debate – about everything: political opinion, religious dogma, the traffic, the path of the ants on the wall, you name it, my mother’s family would happily discuss and argue about it.  So naturally, I talked.  A lot.  It was the only logical development in my communication progression.  I had to fight to be heard, so I learned how to talk.

But lately, I’ve found that quietness is good to.  That thinking and not necessarily talking about the thoughts that run through your head is also a good thing.  I’ve learned that sometimes chatter is just a filler. Sometimes companionable silence is a sign of true acceptance and belonging. You don’t always have to say things to be understood.

Of course, the caveat to that is that one has to talk, so that feelings can be understood and there won’t be any misunderstandings.  There is that old maxim that says “actions speak louder than words.”  This is true.  I am also of the persuasion that things that can be said must be said.  It’s never better left unsaid.

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Yelly Writes

No is really okay

No is such a difficult thing to say…at least for people like me who are people pleasers.  To me saying no meant I was letting people down, I was being selfish, I was being mean and I was being unhelpful.

I’ve had a lot of time to think about work, and learn about my weaknesses and how I can improve my performance at work.  It’s not necessarily a new epiphany, but it has actually hit home that I have to stop saying yes to everyone asking me to do something for them.  I have to choose the situations where I say yes.  Steve Jobs said it best when he said that “It’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on things that are more important.”

For a while, I lost sight of what I should have thought was important to me.  In my deep desire to be helpful to everyone, I allowed myself to take on too much.  I stopped taking care of me because I was too busy trying to be everything to everyone.  But the universe does look after you.  I realised, in the nick of time, that this was a habit that I had to stop.  I had to concentrate on me, what I thought was important.  I realised that if I took care of myself, and what I needed to do first, I would be in a better position to help others.

I also learned that saying no can also be a wonderful teaching mechanism, especially at work.  I find it hard to refuse anyone who asks for help, especially in circumstances where I know I can.  I’ve learned, though, that sometimes, it’s not always up to you to help.  Sometimes you have to step aside so that you allow people to do their job.  Sometimes, even if it takes longer to teach people than to do the job yourself, it is still best to teach them how to do the task instead of taking the task away from them.  If you take the task away, you take away the learning opportunity.

It still pains me to say no.  But I’m working on putting myself first.  I wasn’t raised to think that it was okay to take care of Number One first – Number One being myself.  But now I’m beginning to realise that there is wisdom in putting oneself first.

Saying no is good.  It gives you the opportunity to say yes to something even better.

sayno-stephencovey

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Yelly Writes

Oh brother!

Clara Ortega said “ To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.”  And I agree.

To me you will always be the little boy who “break dances” by spinning on the floor, on his tummy, the one who invents words, our source of joy and entertainment.  I pray that you will be blessed beyond your desires, because we are so very blessed by you.

Happy birthday (big) little bro!

CurlySue

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Yelly Writes

Happy hearts day!

Am so one for cheese.  I love all the Valentines day clichés. I buy into all the romance.  I love the whole card, flowers and chocolate things.  I’m most probably the target consumer for all the commercial Valentines Day crap!  And I buy it all in!  I’m a sappy romantice and am proud of it.

I’ve always said, while it’s true that you don’t have to say you love someone because actions speak louder than words, sometimes that someone you love will appreciate the effort to verbalise how you feel.  So if you love someone, say it loud and say it proud!

Happy Valentines Day all!

2013-02-09 14.35.05The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.  Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.  They’re in each other all along. – Rumi

Yelly Writes

Learning

I’ve always said that a learning environment is the best environment for me.  I’m able to test boundaries, find out what I’m capable of, find out how I can stretch myself and find out what my limits are.

When I was younger, I didn’t really appreciate the opportunities that were there for learning.  I took them for granted.  I’ve learned not to regret not learning when I could.  There’s no sense in bringing back the past, because you can’t.  While my brain is still functional, I think I’m going to take advantage in my interest in learning!

Learning

Yelly Writes

Old thinking

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes.
Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow.
Let reality be reality.
Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
Lao Tzu

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Sometimes the old quotes grab you.  They made a lot of sense in the old days.  They make sense now.  There is a certain timelessness in true wisdom and true insight.