Take my hand?
Tag: quotes
I do
They are about to say ‘I do’,
three little letters, two little words.
Its the simplest part of the day;
but there is nothing simple about the things that will remain unsaid.
‘I do’ means I do know I could be hurt,
but I am ready to be healed with you.
It means I do want to try,
even when the fear of failure holds me back.
And I do not know the future,
but I am ready to be surprised along the way.
‘I do’ means I do want your love & I do give you mine.
And nothing we do will ever be the same,
because we will be doing it all together.
This was a reading from the wedding scene in the Season 3 finale of The Good Witch, which I am currently working through on Netflix, and of course, you guessed it, I was bawling my eyes out. Partly because they were beautiful words, and mostly because, well, it was a wedding. Everyone cries at weddings. I cry at everything, so of course, I would cry at this.
But these words resonated because half a lifetime ago, I promised someone that I would love them, always and forever, in the best way that I could. It wasn’t perfect, and it wasn’t without its frailties and vulnerabilities. But I gave what I could give, and sometimes, even more than what I could, despite the personal deficit. I tried my best, but I guess, as that oldie-but-goodie James Ingram song goes, I guess my best wasn’t good enough.
But I also know that whilst my always and forever means an unconditional always and forever, forsaking all other and does not have an expiration date, saturation point or limit, it does not apply that the person I made the promise to will be able to love as willingly or as completely as I do. Unfortunately for me, that one person, no matter what, will always have my I do. I also know that my I do (no matter how complete and unconditional) is no longer wanted. I accept that. It is a painfully hard pill to swallow, but there you go.
So now, I am learning to say I do to myself – because I do know I could be hurt, but I do want to try; I know that I am afraid, but I know I shouldn’t allow fear to hold me back; I do know that the future holds surprises.
The mania that is Monday
So I saw a share-worthy post from Words of Women on instagram and read this to myself this morning and told myself that this was going to be my mantra this week (bearing in mind that I was recovering from being off sick for two days – Thursday and Friday – and burning my wrist earlier last week). It was a big ask but I needed to psyche myself into accepting all the possible challenges that Monday would most-definitely bring.
It was most certainly a brilliant reminder of how my life was more than glass-half-full. My cup was brimming over. Yeah, I am going through a difficult time, personally and mentally. But I am still here, I am waking up each morning and finding a reason to smile, I am living in the country I’ve always wanted to live in and I am loved by the most amazing man.
You have to start believing that your morning commute is fun and exciting. That your apartment is perfect for the stage you’re in right now. That your partner is the one you always dreamed of. That every coffee you have is just right and every dinner you eat out is a treat. That every time you look in your closet there’s a ton of amazing clothes you bought for yourself because you’re now a badass, stylish woman. This is the grown up life you always dreamed of. Look at you! Think of what your 13-year- old self would think about where you are. She was once dreaming for this life. Now start appreciating it.
@words_of_women
But Monday had another plan for me. It just went with an almighty whoosh. It was so crazy busy that when I looked up next, it was time to put my cup in the dishwasher (or wash it, as I ended up doing because the dishwasher was full anyway) and shut down my computer. If you held a gun to my head and asked me to tell you what I did today, I wouldn’t be able to do that without looking at my to-do list.
I’m going to start over tomorrow. Hopefully the day goes on a steadier, slower pace and I can actually appreciate the time I have! Here’s to hoping!
Good night all!❤️
The quiet times
“When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence.” ― Ansel Adams
I’ve always had something to say, an opinion to express, or an argument to make. My family encouraged vocal discourse; my father’s family fostered an environment where dry, sarcastic humour was used to drive home a point; my mother’s family encouraged debate – about everything: political opinion, religious dogma, the traffic, the path of the ants on the wall, you name it, my mother’s family would happily discuss and argue about it. So naturally, I talked. A lot. It was the only logical development in my communication progression. I had to fight to be heard, so I learned how to talk.
But lately, I’ve found that quietness is good too. That thinking and not necessarily talking about the thoughts that run through your head is also a good thing. I’ve learned that sometimes chatter is just a filler. Sometimes companionable silence is a sign of true acceptance and belonging. You don’t always have to say things to be understood.
Of course, the caveat to that is that one has to talk, so that feelings can be understood and there won’t be any misunderstandings. There is that old maxim that says “actions speak louder than words.” This is true. I am also of the persuasion that things that can be said must be said. It’s never better left unsaid.
No is really okay
No is such a difficult thing to say…at least for people like me who are people pleasers. To me saying no meant I was letting people down, I was being selfish, I was being mean and I was being unhelpful.
I’ve had a lot of time to think about work, and learn about my weaknesses and how I can improve my performance at work. It’s not necessarily a new epiphany, but it has actually hit home that I have to stop saying yes to everyone asking me to do something for them. I have to choose the situations where I say yes. Steve Jobs said it best when he said that “It’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on things that are more important.”
For a while, I lost sight of what I should have thought was important to me. In my deep desire to be helpful to everyone, I allowed myself to take on too much. I stopped taking care of me because I was too busy trying to be everything to everyone. But the universe does look after you. I realised, in the nick of time, that this was a habit that I had to stop. I had to concentrate on me, what I thought was important. I realised that if I took care of myself, and what I needed to do first, I would be in a better position to help others.
I also learned that saying no can also be a wonderful teaching mechanism, especially at work. I find it hard to refuse anyone who asks for help, especially in circumstances where I know I can. I’ve learned, though, that sometimes, it’s not always up to you to help. Sometimes you have to step aside so that you allow people to do their job. Sometimes, even if it takes longer to teach people than to do the job yourself, it is still best to teach them how to do the task instead of taking the task away from them. If you take the task away, you take away the learning opportunity.
It still pains me to say no. But I’m working on putting myself first. I wasn’t raised to think that it was okay to take care of Number One first – Number One being myself. But now I’m beginning to realise that there is wisdom in putting oneself first.
Saying no is good. It gives you the opportunity to say yes to something even better.
Oh brother!
Clara Ortega said “ To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.” And I agree.
To me you will always be the little boy who “break dances” by spinning on the floor, on his tummy, the one who invents words, our source of joy and entertainment. I pray that you will be blessed beyond your desires, because we are so very blessed by you.
Happy birthday (big) little bro!
5 fingers
Sometimes when things get really tough and you just wonder when things are going to get better, you run into pictures that cheer you up.
I am thankful for the internet!
Oh and a few days ago, I would have stuck finger Number 3 out at someone…but of course I didn’t. What goes around, comes around.
Happy hearts day!
Am so one for cheese. I love all the Valentines day clichés. I buy into all the romance. I love the whole card, flowers and chocolate things. I’m most probably the target consumer for all the commercial Valentines Day crap! And I buy it all in! I’m a sappy romantice and am proud of it.
I’ve always said, while it’s true that you don’t have to say you love someone because actions speak louder than words, sometimes that someone you love will appreciate the effort to verbalise how you feel. So if you love someone, say it loud and say it proud!
Happy Valentines Day all!
The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along. – Rumi
Learning
I’ve always said that a learning environment is the best environment for me. I’m able to test boundaries, find out what I’m capable of, find out how I can stretch myself and find out what my limits are.
When I was younger, I didn’t really appreciate the opportunities that were there for learning. I took them for granted. I’ve learned not to regret not learning when I could. There’s no sense in bringing back the past, because you can’t. While my brain is still functional, I think I’m going to take advantage in my interest in learning!
Old thinking
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes.
Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow.
Let reality be reality.
Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
Lao Tzu
Sometimes the old quotes grab you. They made a lot of sense in the old days. They make sense now. There is a certain timelessness in true wisdom and true insight.
Yellywelly 