Yelly Writes

Listening to female voices

21 Oct 201623 Oct 2016 Yelly

I’ve always had music in my ears ever since I could remember. It started with my father having these huge headphones (which funnily enough would have probably been de riguer these days) and I started listening quietly these Hebrew children’s songs that my dad used to play on constant repeat so that we would speak Hebrew (apparently, I was fluent! How I wish I still were! I can sometimes understand the Hebrew and I remember being so happy that I didn’t necessarily have to read the subtitles when BBC showed The Honourable Woman on telly! Yep, high point in my life. I love being such a geek!).

I had the 80’s requisite walkman and warbled to Debbie Gibson and Tiffany. Of course, I had the double tape deck and of course I had the portable CD player that eventually you could plug into the double tape deck as a line-in (I think! Am not entirely sure that’s what you called it!).

It was only when I moved to the UK that I started listening to audio books. Stephen Fry’s readings of the Harry Potter books helped me through the long walks to work (I had the first generation iPod Touch by then). After finishing the Harry Potter books, I started collecting music and creating playlists.

Then in 2014, Alan introduced me to Serial, THE PODCAST. Along with the rest of the world, I was hooked! I would listen to the episodes twice; once to listen to it as soon as it became available to download and listen to, and then again later in the week, before the next episode came. It was great because Sarah Koenig spoke like me (I’m Filipino but I’ve always had a decidedly American accent – which made working in call centres decidedly easier since they required someone with an American twang! My dearest dad flatly refused to allow us to speak in Filipino or watch Filipino shows. Even my nanny spoke in English to me! Oh and no, having a nanny in the Philippines did not mean we were rich. It was just an acceptable thing to have in households with two working parents. It was the only acceptable solution really.). After Serial finished, I went back to listening to my music playlists. I did miss someone talking in my ear. So imagine my joy when Serial released their second season! But of course, once the podcast is finished, it finished.

I started exploring the podcast world and found a lot of interesting listening available. I listened to Richard Herring a lot for a while, except that it became a bit too sweary for me (I use the occasional expletive like “sh*t, sh*t,sh*t, oh sh*t”, or “f*ck!” or “bugger, bugger!” but even I surprise myself when I say them out loud. Alan says I swear a lot, which probably means I feel so comfortable around him that I say what’s on my mind…even if it is a swear word!) so I stopped following his podcast. I also listen to The Allusionist podcast because I love listening to people talk about etymology and language (and yes, because I’m a bit of a grammar monkey!). Once in a while, I download No Such Thing As A Fish podcast episodes because I am a QI fan!

These days though, my train rides are entertained by 3 amazing women:

I love Emma Gannon’s podcasts because whilst I am not a millenial (I think in the timeline of generations, I am a Generation X-er, only just), her insights and the insights of her guests are inspiring. Emma’s podcast Ctrl, Alt, Delete introduces her listeners to a diverse line up of creatives and successful people who have made social media their playground; people who have created niches in the social media world and aren’t stingy with sharing their experience and knowledge to people who want create their niche in this rapidly growing platform. I realise that talking about Emma so much might made me sound like a sycophant (I don’t really care if I do!) but she is amazingly brilliant and the people she talks to are equally so. It’s perfect listening when you want to stop hating your journey to work, perfect listening when you want to get inspiration to make a difference, perfect listening when you need to refocus and understand that your current job will probably be a means to an end – the end being doing something that you really, really want to do!

Another lady I love listening to is Dawn O’Porter. Dawn was also a guest on Emma Gannon’s podcast and I soooooo enjoyed listening to that episode. It was very laugh-out-loud and I must admit, I did get strange/annoyed looks from people sitting near me on the train because I was constantly snorting, laughing into my sleeve or making funny faces. Dawn has this very easy-on-the-ears voice that makes you just listen. I was so happy she started her own podcast Get It On by Dawn O’Porter (I know you can get it on iTunes and acast..and I think, PodOmatic). I loved the trilogy on men’s style that she had. She talked to Jason Segal, Dermot O’Leary and her husband, Chris O’Dowd, about their sartorial choices. I blame you entirely Dawn for the looks I got from that man who gets on at Colchester. He was very annoyed with me because for several days, I interrupted his relatively quiet train journey!

I’ve only just VERY recently discovered Sofie Hagen. My introduction to her Made of Human podcast was her conversation with one of my favourite comedians, Sara Pascoe. I first listened to her this morning and let me tell you, it was another LOL journey. Sorry Mr Sourpuss Colchester. It was just too funny.

Also, I’ve taken away a few, very cool, quotes that Sofie and Sarah shared during their conversation:

From Sara: “Don’t find happiness where you lost it.”

From Sofie (sharing a Frida Kahlo quote): “Leaving isn’t enough; you must stay gone.”

When I heard this I was slightly blown away because for some reason, it fit the situation I was struggling with (it was mostly about relationships that didn’t really matter anymore and that I shouldn’t feel guilty about not liking people – I will probably write about that at some point!).

Also, the nerdy chick in me will read about something Sara Pascoe talked about: the zero-sum game. Have you heard of it? Want to discuss it? Wait, no, not yet! I’ve got read up first!

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Yelly Writes

It’s not always my fault

18 Oct 201623 Oct 2016 Yelly

I think I’ve had a proper breakthrough today. It’s finally hit me, very properly (right in between the eyes, so to speak), that sometimes, it really isn’t me. Sometimes, another person’s inconsistency isn’t how they’re reacting to me. It’s really just who they are, and no matter how much one tries to be efficient to manage everything in the background, sometimes it just isn’t possible to manage someone else’s inconsistencies. I’ve always had an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. When something goes wrong, my first instinct is to think “What have I not done?” But sometimes, it’s not my fault. I need to stop taking it on as my fault. Because I know that I’ve always done my absolute best with what time I have.

I can only do what I can do, in the time frame that I have to do things. If I can’t get it done, then, well, I can’t because I can’t create time magically. It’s not my fault and I am not taking responsibility for something I don’t have control over (i.e. someone else’s priorities). It’ll have to be done another day. I am only one person.

Yes, Alan, I am finally listening to you properly!

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Yelly Writes

Of cold calls and hard sells

7 Oct 201621 Apr 2018 Yelly

I know that when we receive cold calls at work, it’s people trying to sell the firm all sorts of services (from cleaning services to tax software products, you name it, we’ve probably received a sales call about it!). So today, I take one such cold call for my director from a Sam from DataTracks (I have his contact number). He wanted to know if we had an iXBRL reporting service provider. I had to make sure I gave the right so I had to check with our admin head. We did and I know we’d just renewed the contract because of the merger. So I said we did. He asked (not very politely) who it was so I said CCH. He started getting aggressive wanting to talk to my director (who was honestly on the phone) and asked me if I knew what it was, how important it was for corporation tax reporting to HMRC.

Of course by this time, I knew he was going to try to get me to transfer him to one of the directors so that he could try and sell him their services. It was a Friday afternoon, and all of our directors had better things to do with their time. I politely told Sam that we didn’t require services from a new provider yet because we had just renewed our contract. I suggested that if he could send over information about the services his company provided, he could send it to our enquiries email address so their services could be reviewed and the appropriate person could get in touch. Somehow I could feel Sam getting agitated (his English started changing from an American accent to an Australian accent and some transatlantic call centre accent) and he asked me if I was admin or an accountant because it’s possible I didn’t understand what he was talking about. It ruffled my feathers because the implication was that because I was just admin staff that I knew nothing about what our office did. So I said I understood that he had sales targets to reach but that we already had a provider we were happy with and to have a nice day and I hung up.

I wish I could be rude to him but as I still had my PA hat on, I had to be polite and professional, and it wouldn’t reflect well on the firm if I was rude back. I get the sales target thing, that it can get all boiler-roomy and that they’re under a lot of pressure to sell. But if you provide a service (a professional service at that), the hard sell isn’t always the best way to get your foot in. I hope Sam gets more soft skills training. He definitely needs it!

Thank goodness it’s the weekend!

Yelly Writes

My Duckie

5 Oct 2016 Yelly

So this little girl is celebrating her birthday today…well at least it is still her birthday here today. I wish I could hug her and say how proud I am of her, of how she has taken on so much responsibility. I wish I could tell her that I so believe in her capabilities and that I believe she can do anything she puts her mind to.

I hope you had the most amazing birthday Duckie! I know that William being well and truly married and Harry not really finished looking for himself is a huge disappointment, but remember this:

Yelly Writes

No is really okay

5 Oct 20165 Oct 2016 Yelly

No is such a difficult thing to say…at least for people like me who are people pleasers. To me saying no meant I was letting people down, I was being selfish, I was being mean and I was being unhelpful.

I’ve had a lot of time to think about work, and learn about my weaknesses and how I can improve my performance at work. It’s not necessarily a new epiphany, but it has actually hit home that I have to stop saying yes to everyone asking me to do something for them. I have to choose the situations where I say yes. Steve Jobs said it best when he said that “It’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on things that are more important.”

For a while, I lost sight of what I should have thought was important to me. In my deep desire to be helpful to everyone, I allowed myself to take on too much. I stopped taking care of me because I was too busy trying to be everything to everyone. But the universe does look after you. I realised, in the nick of time, that this was a habit that I had to stop. I had to concentrate on me, what I thought was important. I realised that if I took care of myself, and what I needed to do first, I would be in a better position to help others.

I also learned that saying no can also be a wonderful teaching mechanism, especially at work. I find it hard to refuse anyone who asks for help, especially in circumstances where I know I can. I’ve learned, though, that sometimes, it’s not always up to you to help. Sometimes you have to step aside so that you allow people to do their job. Sometimes, even if it takes longer to teach people than to do the job yourself, it is still best to teach them how to do the task instead of taking the task away from them. If you take the task away, you take away the learning opportunity.

It still pains me to say no. But I’m working on putting myself first. I wasn’t raised to think that it was okay to take care of Number One first – Number One being myself. But now I’m beginning to realise that there is wisdom in putting oneself first.

Saying no is good. It gives you the opportunity to say yes to something even better.

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Yelly Writes

Sunday night thoughts

2 Oct 20162 Oct 2016 Yelly

So tomorrow is another Monday, one that is likely to be manic. I know I should make sure I look forward to things, and I am. Honestly. But I am also being realistic.

I am (very truly) thankful for each morning. I am thankful for each workday because I can meet my step goal for the day. I have a few things already on my to-do list but that’s okay. Every morning is new and filled with exciting possibilities!

Yelly Writes

Writing it out

30 Sep 201630 Sep 2016 Yelly

Emma Gannon is my favourite millenial (let me just say that I’m not entirely sure I am using this term correctly, I think I am but if you disagree leave a comment and let’s discuss!). Mostly because she has done what I’ve always wanted to do. She has taken a passion for writing and communicating on all possible media (print and social media and now she has this killer podcast and amazing book!) and has turned that passion into a career.

She is one of a handful of superwomen that I follow on social media, mostly because they inspire me. I mean hello, they’ve accomplished what I wanted to do ages ago (when I was bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and less disappointed with the world) and they are so much younger than me! I know people always say 40 is the new 30, and I am right there, just over the threshold (I turned 40 this year) but there are days when I think about what I need to learn, what I have to do and I wonder if I’ll ever get this particular ship out of this harbour. I know the inertia that I’m feeling is something that only I can overcome. I’ve got to light that firecracker under my backside and I’ve got to start moving (literally and figuratively!) if I want to get to where I want to get to. I have a plan in my head but a plan isn’t really worth anything if I don’t attach any things to do and action points to it.

First thing to do is to create an environment where I am doing things that will get me to where I want to be. I have to create a positive go-getter frame of mind. I know that the day job is important at the moment because the day job will help me fund the activities that I need to participate in to get to where I want to get to. I am reminded of Emma Gannon’s podcast episode with Paulette Perhach who talked about the importance of the side-hustle and how important it is to keep hustling. I have allowed myself to wallow in the wishing stage of this whole endeavor so really, I haven’t been hustling as yet. But hustle I will and hustle I should!

I have been wondering about my blog, why it hasn’t really taken off in the way my previous blog did. I had people reading my blog, commenting on my blog, actually following my blog. I lost that when I moved into a different blog hosting platform (Blogdrive did have a community and people actually read other people in Blogdrive) – this is not to throw shade on all the people following my blog; to you lovely lot, I am forever grateful. I’m not assigning blame. I just think my blog was stuck in a particular kind of blog theme where people shared their feelings to try and find validation. We all want that all important thing: validation. But it’s also important to know that people also want to read inspirational stuff, aspirational stuff. Because if you boohoo and rant all the time, you bring your readers down with you. It’s okay to vent, but I think it’s also important not to overshare your emotional and psychological baggage. I think the audience isn’t as receptive to that anymore. There has to be a balance between saying it like it is and depressing the heck out of your readers!

The quote below is a screen grab from Emma’s blog entry about Sharing Less. It resonated so much. And yes, I am going to write because I have something to say and I have a great story to share, not because I need validation.

Oh and I know that I’ve started to view my writing differently because every time Alan asks me “are you sure you want to blog about that?” these days, I no longer feel like I am being attacked. I stop and think about what I really want to say. I don’t say this enough but thanks Alan♥

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Yelly Writes

Something? Nothing?

29 Sep 201629 Sep 2016 Yelly

I started writing…then deleted the draft.

I would love to write something witty or something smart or useful or write up a recipe for something yummy today. But I’m coming up with a blank. I am driven to type because I feel the need to write…something. But I know that none of the words I actually type can be threaded together into something life-changingly brilliant. So this post is all about the nothingness that I feel compelled to share with you.

It’s a Thursday and…well, it’s nearly the weekend. I am on my couch watching Pointless and wishing I had bought myself a lottery ticket for tomorrow’s roll over. Maybe I will.

Tomorrow is Friday and tomorrow is market day. Maybe I’ll find something to write about tomorrow!

Oh, did you know that today is National Coffee Day…somewhere in the world?

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Yelly Writes

Missing the sestras!

23 Sep 201623 Sep 2016 Yelly

If you think a show about the moral and ethical implications of human cloning will mostly be a documentary, think again!

At this year’s Emmys, Tatiana Maslany won the award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series (FINALLY!). You might know her from The Woman in Gold, or The Vow. I thought it was well deserved, and I thought it was a gross injustice when she wasn’t nominated in 2014 and when she was finally nominated in 2015, I couldn’t believe she didn’t win! This woman plays all the clones (to date: Sarah, Cosima, Alison, Helena, Rachel, Krystal, MK, Beth, Katja, Jennifer and Tony…apparently there are 22 known clones but not all of them are actually in the storyline). They have different looks, different characters, different accents because of the different nationalities and different storylines! If you have trouble remembering the items on your grocery shopping list, have a think about Tatiana Maslany’s script work!

I was drawn to this show because, being the child of a geneticist, who spent most of free time in her father’s cytogenetics laboratory, the premise of the series was interesting. What would you do if you found out that you were a clone and there are several of you and and there was something sinister involved in your creation? Every time I watch episodes, I wonder what my father would think. I still think I should get him copies of the series. I think he’d enjoy it! But it might be a good idea for me to wait until the fifth series has been released as he might want to watch the entire series in one go!

I’ve now finished the final episode of the 4th series. Yep, I started watching it when it first came out in 2013! After the first 2 episodes, I was hooked. Really bad. Am so thankful for Apple TV because it means I could binge watch and find out what was happening to Sarah and her sestras (the clones call themselves sisters, and one of the clones is Helena who escaped from a Czech cult calls her sisters sestras so that caught on so now the clones – the main ones, Sarah, Cosima, Alison and Helena – call each other sestra). But it is addictive. Once you get hooked on OB, you’ll never not want to watch the next episode. It’s because each clone has a story and you start having a favourite clone, or you start wondering what Felix, or Mrs S or Art or the devious Castors are up to!

Now that I’ve finished Season 4, there is the interminable wait for Season 5. I have it on very good authority that Season 5 will be the last season for OB (silent scream: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!). I might need to get a box set just for me because I will miss OB, and like a junkie, I will need a fix. Because I will want to watch it over and over again, from the very beginning (which is always a very good place to start, even Fraulein Maria says so!).