I think I’ve had a proper breakthrough today. It’s finally hit me, very properly (right in between the eyes, so to speak), that sometimes, it really isn’t me. Sometimes, another person’s inconsistency isn’t how they’re reacting to me. It’s really just who they are, and no matter how much one tries to be efficient to manage everything in the background, sometimes it just isn’t possible to manage someone else’s inconsistencies. I’ve always had an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. When something goes wrong, my first instinct is to think “What have I not done?” But sometimes, it’s not my fault. I need to stop taking it on as my fault. Because I know that I’ve always done my absolute best with what time I have.
I can only do what I can do, in the time frame that I have to do things. If I can’t get it done, then, well, I can’t because I can’t create time magically. It’s not my fault and I am not taking responsibility for something I don’t have control over (i.e. someone else’s priorities). It’ll have to be done another day. I am only one person.
Yes, Alan, I am finally listening to you properly!