Yelly Writes

Easter thoughts

Easter brings a 4-day weekend with Bank Holiday Friday (aka Good Friday when I lived in Manila) and Easter Monday (which, thank you God, is also a bank holiday!).  Easter also brings a lot of chocolate and it’s been a tradition at the firm that I work in for the shareholders of the firm to give us Easter eggs before the office closes for the long weekend.  Easter also brings a time for me to rest.  I’ve not been a 100% per cent for a while, so I am thankful for the statutory time off!

Easter was quite different for me when I lived in the Philippines.  If you didn’t already know, the Philippines is a predominantly Christian country, where approximately 86% of the population are Roman Catholic (I belong to the 2% of the population, I think, who are protestant – I am a proud card-carrying Methodist!).  So Easter is a big thing in the Philippines – almost as big as Christmas.  But I think, whilst Christmas is a celebration of blessings (both spiritual and fiscal), Easter is more solemn…more devotional.

The country begins it’s slow down on Palm Sunday and all but shuts down in the afternoon of Holy Wednesday.  The proceedings begin on Maundy Tuesday, the evening when the ritual of the Last Supper is celebrated and everyone goes into a collective retrospective, spiritually contemplative and prayerful mood.  When I was younger, before the introduction of the mainstream cable TV subscription, local TV stations would cease their usual telecasts and it would only be “religious” films on TV (mostly about the last days of Christ, and Father Peyton TV specials).  Children weren’t allowed to play and we were all told to be quiet when we did laugh out loud.

When I started participating in my local church activities, the weeks leading up to Easter Sunday were very busy.  There were choir practices for the services that would be held for the evening of the Last Supper (Maundy Thursday evening) where we would have the ceremonial washing of the feet, the Last Supper and the service would end by the congregation stripping the altar of all its adornments in preparation for the afternoon service during Good Friday.  On Good Friday, there is a service in church where the focus of reflection is Jesus’ seven last statements whilst he was crucified on the cross.  I have been privileged to offer a reflection before.  There is a lot of hymn singing and the whole week is prayerful.

On Easter Sunday, most of the Catholic population celebrate Christ’s resurrection in an early morning (usually at around 4 or 5AM) ritual called Salubong (sah-loo-bong).  It is, most probably, the imagined reenactment of Jesus and Mary’s first meeting after Jesus has risen from the dead.  I’ve always known the Methodists (and other protestant congregations) to have an ecumenical (all are welcome) Easter sunrise service that usually starts at 5AM.  There is much singing and celebrating and then we all go back to our local churches to have our Easter Sunday services.  There is more celebrating via a church lunch following the requisite Easter egg hunt for the children.

Fairview Park United Methodist Church – photo credit: Matt de Guzman

The season of Lent is slightly different for me these days.  Since moving to the UK, because I’ve never really properly attached myself to a church, I don’t have the same Christian fellowship during these times.  I don’t have a choir to practice songs with, or a service to attend, during most times.  I know I should try to find a church, to regularly attend a Sunday service, to find Christian fellowship.  I find that whilst Easter still means a lot to me, because it represents the day Christ offered Himself to die for my sins, the day I became free from the shackles of death, it has become less contemplative.

I find that the life I live is more socially secular and more personally spiritual.  But I think that because of this lack of Christian fellowship, something is missing in my life.  I miss talking to people about my faith.  I miss sharing how little things in my life represent God’s goodness.  I miss talking about the instantness of God’s answers to my prayers.  I miss talking about how blessed I am to have certain people in my life because they represent God’s unconditional and illimitable love for me.  I miss talking about how amazing it is when I see God’s hand in the turn of events in my life.

While I lament the lack of opportunity to shout my faith from the mountaintops, I am also thankful for this personal stillness in my life.  I am reminded of the time when, in church, our youth group decided to focus on the internal spiritual growth of the church youth.  We decided that we needed to establish our fellowship first, before reaching out to other churches.  Because we felt the need for the bonds to be strengthened internally first before we reached out.  I think my move to the UK symbolised that as well.  Because after years of serving in church, after years of sharing myself, I needed to look inwardly and reassess my faith.  I needed to tend to my own relationship with my God and my Saviour Jesus Christ.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never felt removed from God, there wasn’t a sense that I wasn’t connected to God.  It was just I was letting Him do all the carrying (I don’t think He minded, but I know He would have loved it if I reached out to Him and carried my end of the yoke).  It is a relationship I have with my God.

I mean, ultimately, it is a commensalist relationship we have with our God.  Because whilst God can be without me (I am thankful that God loves me, and that this has never been a factor in His great plans for me), I am completely nothing without Him.  I benefit because I am with Him.  I am blessed because I am with Him.  Life would be a lot less if I existed without Him.

But I want to continue building my relationship with my God.  I stopped for a while.  I focused on myself but wanting to establish myself without His guidance is an exercise in futility.  Having my own way is what He has given us, we are free to make our own choices.  But ultimately, if we are not guided by Him and if we do not surrender to His will, we might as well walk our life journeys in circles.  When you do not have your internal compass you won’t get to where you need to go.

God has been waiting for me to properly come back, to pay attention to my relationship with Him.  He has been a constant presence in my life, in the people He has put in my life to remind me that I’ve not been walking the walk.  I am truly thankful that we have these Christian rituals during the year.  Because they serve as good reminders – of God’s love for us, and our responsibilities to Him.

Yelly Writes

Prayer for concentration at work

I have always wanted to write more about my faith and my feelings.  Because if you can’t be yourself and say what you want on your blog, where else can you (provided that what you post isn’t illegal or offensive to other people’s civil liberties – I’d like to say it’s exercising responsible freedom of speech!) be?

I saw a comment on one of my old blogs, talking about how a prayer that I posted about concentration at work helped them (they were looking for a prayer for concentration and apparently my prayer was easily modified for purpose).

I thought I’d share it with y’all because I know that it was something I came across as well and that I modified according to what I needed.  I’m hoping that it helps someone who comes across this blog post too!  In this world of instants, there are so many distractions.  Sometimes it helps to just close one’s eyes and focus and draw into oneself and centre oneself by praying.

I hope this helps!

Dear Father,

I draw near You to seek Your help.  I have the assurance that You love me so very much. Lord, the Scripture says that You love the prosperity of Your children.  You know the importance of being able to concentrate at work.  Father, bless me with Your guidance and let me work on my things to do list properly.  Lord, I confess that I get distracted easily; I have more interest in less important things instead of what is urgent in my in-tray.

Please forgive me and gird me with You grace (I love the word gird Lord, because it makes me feel like I am going to battle, and oh I do love a battle!  See Lord, I am digressing, yet again!) and strength so that I concentrate in my work.  Without Your help I cannot achieve any success Lord!

Please help me to overcome all my weaknesses and strengthen my mind. Take full control of my wandering thoughts and give me Your wisdom and knowledge. Let me shine at work, Heavenly Father and let me be a blessing to to everyone. I lift all this up in Jesus’ name.  

Amen.

Yelly Writes

After the hiatus…?

How many times have I taken a blogging sabbatical?  It happens all the time.  I allow the real world and work to take control of my life and the things that make me happy take a back seat.

Well, if I intend to be the boss of me eventually, if I intend to be responsible for my own time, then I need to take control of things don’t I?  Besides, whilst paying for my own domain name isn’t exactly breaking the bank (thank you WordPress for making this financially accessible!  You guys absolutely rock!), there must be some sort of return of investment!

So I am back in the land of the blogging!

Watch this space…again!

Oh and PS, thanks for sticking with me!  Mucho appreciated!❤️

Yelly Writes

I get why they made moats!

I’m trying to avoid filling this particular blog post with clichés.  Because I’ve always tried to treat people with kindness.  But, sometimes, following the Golden Rule is a lonely path.  Because not everyone shares or understands your journey (if you do follow the Golden Rule, that is).  In these modern times, most people are selfish and they are out to look out for only themselves, because in this day and age, everyone jockeys for position, wanting to be first, wanting to be in pole position.

Sadly, I’ve come to the conclusion that treating everyone with kindness is not always the right thing to do.  Because some people don’t deserve the kindness.  Some people will take what’s freely offered without thought of giving back.

But that’s okay.  Things have a way of coming back.  Karma is a lovely equaliser.  I see the wisdom of burning bridges.  There was a reason why people built moats around their castles!

Yelly Writes

A lucky escape

My Chinese New Year celebration was punctuated with brilliant pictures and a massively stupendous fall (accentuated with the vision of stars brought on by that glorious bang on the head!).

I am glad to say that my body is recovering from the fall quite well and the head is seemingly clear from any sort of concussion (or any other ill effects from it hitting the wall).  The only sign of my obvious minor disaster is the bruised elbow.  My outer arm has a relatively benign-looking bruise but when you look at my inner elbow there is a humdinger of a bruise!

humdinger of a bruise

I’ve had a lucky escape though because despite the circumstances, I still think I managed to emerge from that accident relatively unscathed…battered ego, notwithstanding.

The bruise is now turning to varying shades of green and yellow so I know that I am healing quite well.

Thank goodness!

Yelly Writes

Watch your head!

We went back to St Ermin’s today to enjoy afternoon tea again and, in the process managed to avoid the hail that pelted London for a about 10 minutes.  That was lucky!  We could hear it from where we were seated in the Tea Lounge.  We were in a corner furthest from the windows and doors but we could still hear the noise.  I don’t know if I’ve ever written about it but I have this weird preoccupation about precipitation.  I hear rain, I need to see it.  I see snow coming down and I have to run to the nearest window to see the flakes floating down (yep, I’m very odd like that).  But this afternoon, I was well-behaved and stayed in my seat.

St Ermin's Tea Lounge

The afternoon tea was as lovely as I remembered.  This was the second time we’d had afternoon tea in St Ermin’s so we knew that we could change the savoury and sweet elements of the afternoon tea.  We chose our tea, asked for our favourites and waited.  If you do want to enjoy afternoon tea in beautiful surroundings, without having to pay through the nose and having to adhere to strict dress codes (obviously common sense dictates that you do dress accordingly), try afternoon tea at St Ermin’s.  The food is lovely, the teas are amazing, but most importantly, the staff are friendly and oh-s0-very-helpful!

Afternoon Tea at St Ermin's

Anyway, after the lovely food and the even more delicious tea, my klutzy self chose to make an utterly flamboyant reappearance!  As we were walking from the Tea Lounge to go and pay the St Ermin’s bees a visit (the hotel keeps bees and gives the honey produced in cute little pots to their guests), I managed to miss a step and fall on my left arm and smash my head on a wall with a loud bang.  I’m sure it was caught on St Ermin’s CCTV, so at least my embarrassment would only be witnessed by whoever was manning the security cameras and there wasn’t anyone else except Alan to witness my epic fall from grace!  I say epic because it felt like the worst expression of klutziness in my personal history, ever.  Everything felt like it was happening in slow motion but at the same time it felt like it was over in a flash and I was left to enjoy the starts after my head hit the wall.  Even Alan said he thought it happened so slowly that he thought I would be able to stop my head from hitting the wall.  Evidently, I didn’t because, even to me, the sound of my head making contact with the wall was very loud.  I am only thankful that it wasn’t a concrete wall or it had some sort of wooden panelling.  Otherwise, I wouldn’t be sitting at home with only a sore head and bruised arms and a dreadfully damaged ego.  I am so thankful for small mercies!

Yikes

On the way home, because it was Chinese New Year, I read my Chinese horoscope (I’m not necessarily superstitions but I do find it entertaining reading) and it says, that health-wise, for Dragons “Due to the existence of the inauspicious star Tiane (天厄), you will hardly maintain the stable health in 2017. To be simple, you may easily have minor illness or disaster, and suffer lingering cold or fever…” – lingering cold, check; minor disaster, fall and bang on the head today, check!  I’ve never had my horoscope, Chinese or otherwise, be this spookily accurate!

My head is still sore, and the left side of my body feels bruised.  I can’t seem to straighten my left arm but I think this is because my arm took the brunt of the impact of my fall.  I’ve had people say that I need to get checked out by a medical professional just to make sure I’m okay.  I will…if anything completely out of the ordinary happens.  But I am just mostly bruised so I don’t think I need to see a doctor…but I am keeping an open mind and am listening to my body.

Be careful everyone!  Watch where you step!

Steps

Yelly Writes

Back to the salt mines!

I had 10 days off work.  1o days!

It was a struggle to go back to work this morning and the day sped by so fast I nearly got whiplash!  But, that being said, after 10 days of not being chained to a desk (and my determination to keep my desk as paperless as possible), today was a good first day back at work!

Today was actually a really good day.

WUKABKR

Yelly Writes

Last day of the year

I saw this quote on Goodreads a few days ago and copied it down into my notes.  It was a good thing to have floating about because it made me think about impending arrival of the New Year and what I wanted that to mean to me:

“What would you like to have happen in your life this year?  What would you like to do, to accomplish?  What good would you like to attract into your life?  What particular areas of growth would you like to have happen to you?  What blocks, or character defects, would you like to have removed?…The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written.  We can help write that story by setting goals.” ― Melody Beattie,  The Language of Letting Go

It’s this existentialist-esque questions that make you stop and think and indulge in well-needed retrospective introspection.  I may be twisting arm chair psychology, but this, I guess, is my reaction to my passive-aggressive over-developed sense of responsibility and hyperactive conscience!  In a few hours another year will have come and gone.  Another year will shortly begin its run.

While I don’t necessarily do New Year resolutions (anymore, as my steely New Year resolve will probably just last 3 weeks tops), I have goals this year: to strive to be kinder to others and to myself; to listen more to others and learn to use my self-edit button so I don’t speak before thinking; to make sure that my response to everything is borne out of love, patience and kindness; to make sure that no matter what, I follow the Golden Rule; to make sure I take care of my body, my heart and my spirit, and to make sure that whatever I do is guided by my faith. 2016 has been difficult and there were hard lessons that I had to learn and hard truths I had to face about myself. But because God is faithful, I am blessed with the opportunity to learn from my mistakes and to work at being a better version of me! I am God’s project, His work in progress!

Here’s to the New Year everyone! 🙂

Berlin Wall Fragment

Yelly Writes

It’s Christmas!

Regent Street angels

“The light of the Christmas star to you. The warmth of home and hearth to you. The cheer and goodwill of friends to you. The hope of a child-like heart to you. The joy of a thousand angels to you. The love of the Son and God’s peace to you.”
― Sherryl Woods, An O’Brien Family Christmas

To family and friends, both near and far, you are all thought of today, whether it is Christmas Day already where you are, or you are still rushing about taking care of last minute Christmas preparations, may you all have the happiest and the merriest of Christmases and only the choicest blessings are wished for you for the New Year!

Yelly Writes

Quelle Obscénité!!! #MarcosNotAHero

I rarely post political opinions on the blog.  But when I saw this article in the London Evening Standard whilst on the train last night I had to express my feelings.  For those of you still reeling from the disaster that was the US election, spare a thought for the Filipinos who lived through 20 years of the Marcos dictatorship.

Marcos in heroes grave - London ESYesterday, Friday, 18 November 2016, marks the darkest day of Philippine history.  Everything Philippine nationalists and patriots of the 1970s and 1980s fought for, suffered through and even died for, was negated.  All with one stroke of a shovel.  Because yesterday, with the support and approval of the newly elected administration and the irresolute Philippine Supreme Court, Ferdinand Edralin Marcos, dictator extraordinaire was buried on the hallowed grounds of the Libingan Ng Mga Bayani (Heroes’ Cemetery).

How could this administration allow this obscenity to happen?  This individual pillaged and plundered the Philippines, ensuring that generations suffered the consequences of his diabolical greed.  In return, he gets to be buried next to heroes who he isn’t even fit to be in the same atmosphere in, let alone share the same burial ground.

Did I miss something?  When did we start living in some horrible alternative reality?  When did our government side with dictators?  When did Martial Law become acceptable?  When did graft and corruption become admirable?

This isn’t some sort of two-month old, immature boyfriend-girlfriend relationship that fizzles out and everyone gets told to “move on” because it’s “for the best.” It is legitimately 20 years of oppression, where people are murdered, people who challenge the administration just mysteriously disappear, never to be seen or heard from ever again, where everything on TV, in radio and on print is censored and everyone is, essentially, deprived of human rights.  This has left so many people scarred.  And to those downplaying this part of Philippine history because it puts their president in a bad light, this isn’t some political horror story.  This really happened.  Those human rights violations really happened.  Those deaths and murders really happened (while there may not be any evidence, there are families still missing fathers, mothers, sons and daughters.  If this isn’t testament to that, I don’t know what is!).  Everyone in the world knows about it (for goodness’ sake Imelda Marcos and her 3,000 pairs of shoes are synonymous with corruption and greed!  What do you think the musical Here Lies Love was all about?).  I don’t understand how some people can say that it wasn’t that bad.  It was, and for many others, even worse than our worst imaginings!  I don’t understand how anyone can even downplay all the atrocities that happened between the declaration of Martial Law on 21 September 1972 and when, finally, Ferdinand Marcos and his family were forced to flee to Hawaii in exile in 1986.  How can this all just be swept under the rug?

My heart bleeds for you my dearest Philippines!  How is this happening to you?  To quote J.K. Rowling’s Rufus Scrimgeour, in Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, “These are dark times, there is no denying.”  No matter how much the president tries to justify his actions, no matter how much the administration supporters deny it, no matter how much the Marcos family ignore it.  The Philippines has been raped, pillaged and plundered all over again.

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