Yellywelly

No is really okay

5 Oct 20165 Oct 2016 Yelly

No is such a difficult thing to say…at least for people like me who are people pleasers. To me saying no meant I was letting people down, I was being selfish, I was being mean and I was being unhelpful.

I’ve had a lot of time to think about work, and learn about my weaknesses and how I can improve my performance at work. It’s not necessarily a new epiphany, but it has actually hit home that I have to stop saying yes to everyone asking me to do something for them. I have to choose the situations where I say yes. Steve Jobs said it best when he said that “It’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on things that are more important.”

For a while, I lost sight of what I should have thought was important to me. In my deep desire to be helpful to everyone, I allowed myself to take on too much. I stopped taking care of me because I was too busy trying to be everything to everyone. But the universe does look after you. I realised, in the nick of time, that this was a habit that I had to stop. I had to concentrate on me, what I thought was important. I realised that if I took care of myself, and what I needed to do first, I would be in a better position to help others.

I also learned that saying no can also be a wonderful teaching mechanism, especially at work. I find it hard to refuse anyone who asks for help, especially in circumstances where I know I can. I’ve learned, though, that sometimes, it’s not always up to you to help. Sometimes you have to step aside so that you allow people to do their job. Sometimes, even if it takes longer to teach people than to do the job yourself, it is still best to teach them how to do the task instead of taking the task away from them. If you take the task away, you take away the learning opportunity.

It still pains me to say no. But I’m working on putting myself first. I wasn’t raised to think that it was okay to take care of Number One first – Number One being myself. But now I’m beginning to realise that there is wisdom in putting oneself first.

Saying no is good. It gives you the opportunity to say yes to something even better.

Save

Yelly Writes

Sunday night thoughts

2 Oct 20162 Oct 2016 Yelly

So tomorrow is another Monday, one that is likely to be manic. I know I should make sure I look forward to things, and I am. Honestly. But I am also being realistic.

I am (very truly) thankful for each morning. I am thankful for each workday because I can meet my step goal for the day. I have a few things already on my to-do list but that’s okay. Every morning is new and filled with exciting possibilities!

Yelly Reads

#readinggoals this week!

1 Oct 20162 Oct 2016 Yelly

So this is my book pile. I’m not entirely sure how long this is going to take me to finish all these books but here goes nothing!

In my to-read list (from top to bottom and not in any order of importance):

Our Kind Of Traitor by John Le Carré
Get Started On Food Writing by Kerstin Rodgers (aka @MsMarmiteLover)
The Girl On The Train by Paula Hawkins (reading it for the nth time!)
Brave Enough by Cheryl Strayed
Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss
Get Rich Blogging by Zoe Griffin
Girl Friday by Jane Green
Voracious by Cara Nicoletti (attempting a second read without munching on anything!)

Lord knows when I’m going to finish it, but I’m going to try!

Save

Yelly Writes

Writing it out

30 Sep 201630 Sep 2016 Yelly

Emma Gannon is my favourite millenial (let me just say that I’m not entirely sure I am using this term correctly, I think I am but if you disagree leave a comment and let’s discuss!). Mostly because she has done what I’ve always wanted to do. She has taken a passion for writing and communicating on all possible media (print and social media and now she has this killer podcast and amazing book!) and has turned that passion into a career.

She is one of a handful of superwomen that I follow on social media, mostly because they inspire me. I mean hello, they’ve accomplished what I wanted to do ages ago (when I was bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and less disappointed with the world) and they are so much younger than me! I know people always say 40 is the new 30, and I am right there, just over the threshold (I turned 40 this year) but there are days when I think about what I need to learn, what I have to do and I wonder if I’ll ever get this particular ship out of this harbour. I know the inertia that I’m feeling is something that only I can overcome. I’ve got to light that firecracker under my backside and I’ve got to start moving (literally and figuratively!) if I want to get to where I want to get to. I have a plan in my head but a plan isn’t really worth anything if I don’t attach any things to do and action points to it.

First thing to do is to create an environment where I am doing things that will get me to where I want to be. I have to create a positive go-getter frame of mind. I know that the day job is important at the moment because the day job will help me fund the activities that I need to participate in to get to where I want to get to. I am reminded of Emma Gannon’s podcast episode with Paulette Perhach who talked about the importance of the side-hustle and how important it is to keep hustling. I have allowed myself to wallow in the wishing stage of this whole endeavor so really, I haven’t been hustling as yet. But hustle I will and hustle I should!

I have been wondering about my blog, why it hasn’t really taken off in the way my previous blog did. I had people reading my blog, commenting on my blog, actually following my blog. I lost that when I moved into a different blog hosting platform (Blogdrive did have a community and people actually read other people in Blogdrive) – this is not to throw shade on all the people following my blog; to you lovely lot, I am forever grateful. I’m not assigning blame. I just think my blog was stuck in a particular kind of blog theme where people shared their feelings to try and find validation. We all want that all important thing: validation. But it’s also important to know that people also want to read inspirational stuff, aspirational stuff. Because if you boohoo and rant all the time, you bring your readers down with you. It’s okay to vent, but I think it’s also important not to overshare your emotional and psychological baggage. I think the audience isn’t as receptive to that anymore. There has to be a balance between saying it like it is and depressing the heck out of your readers!

The quote below is a screen grab from Emma’s blog entry about Sharing Less. It resonated so much. And yes, I am going to write because I have something to say and I have a great story to share, not because I need validation.

Oh and I know that I’ve started to view my writing differently because every time Alan asks me “are you sure you want to blog about that?” these days, I no longer feel like I am being attacked. I stop and think about what I really want to say. I don’t say this enough but thanks Alan♥

Save

Yelly Writes

Something? Nothing?

29 Sep 201629 Sep 2016 Yelly

I started writing…then deleted the draft.

I would love to write something witty or something smart or useful or write up a recipe for something yummy today. But I’m coming up with a blank. I am driven to type because I feel the need to write…something. But I know that none of the words I actually type can be threaded together into something life-changingly brilliant. So this post is all about the nothingness that I feel compelled to share with you.

It’s a Thursday and…well, it’s nearly the weekend. I am on my couch watching Pointless and wishing I had bought myself a lottery ticket for tomorrow’s roll over. Maybe I will.

Tomorrow is Friday and tomorrow is market day. Maybe I’ll find something to write about tomorrow!

Oh, did you know that today is National Coffee Day…somewhere in the world?

Save

Yelly Eats

This cake happened today!

28 Sep 201629 Sep 2016 Yelly

I bought a bowl of plums from the Friday Market for £1 last week with the intention of consuming them purely for my 5-a-day. Usually the fruit that I get from that particular market stall is sweet and perfect (yes, really!) but surprisingly, these plums were very tart. I tried eating the fruit but it was REALLY tart (bordering on acidic sourness).

I have written a draft of the recipe for the plum cake. But I need to work on it because the plums were still so tart even after laying them on a carpet of brown sugar. I’ll have to tweak the recipe first and make it a few times to make sure it’s a recipe that works. I promise to share it as soon as I’m satisfied.

Watch this space!

Yelly Snaps

Missing the Big Apple

27 Sep 2016 Yelly

I would love to go back to New York…like right now?

Yelly Eats

Chocolate crinkles

24 Sep 20168 Aug 2017 Yelly

Over a week ago, I gave in to the urge to finally make chocolate crinkles. It’s a popular cookie in the Philippines. It’s rich, indulgent and fudgy. It’s something that might just make you go mmmmm. I approached the idea of making crinkles with a little trepidation. I always worry that my memories of what things taste like in Manila is different from reality. But I did manage to work up the courage to finally make crinkles!

I’ve written a recipe that I’ve tweaked below and I know that it works. I would love for y’all to make chocolate crinkles and let me know if the recipe works for you.

Ingredients:

150g unsweetened cocoa powder
280g caster sugar
150ml vegetable oil
4 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
300g plain flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ salt
150g icing sugar

Directions:

In a bowl, using a balloon whisk, mix the flour, salt and baking powder together and set aside. In a mixing bowl, combine the cocoa powder, sugar and oil. To mix, I’ll use a free-standing mixer.

With a paddle attachment, on the lowest setting (just so that the cocoa powder doesn’t fly all over the place), start mixing the cocoa powder, sugar and oil for about 2 minutes. Once the mixture forms a thick paste, increase the speed and mix for a further 2 minutes. The mixture should turn shiny and smooth. Add each egg individually and mix until the mixture is again shiny. Once all the eggs are added, add the vanilla.

Add the flour mixture and mix until well-incorporated and the mixture is smooth.

Cover the mixture and chill in the fridge for at least 2½ hours (I initially only chilled it for 1½ hours and it seemed to be okay), the longer you chill it, the better.

Preheat the oven to 175°C (350°F). Line your baking sheets with parchment paper. I like to use a small ice cream scoop or a 1 tablespoon measuring spoon.

Scoop a generous 1 tablespoon of the mixture and roll it into a ball. Coat each ball with icing sugar and place on the lined sheet.

Bake for 10-12 minutes. Once the cookies are baked, take them out of the oven and allow to cool on the sheets for about 5 minutes before transferring them onto a wire rack to cool completely.

The cookies have a recognisable cracked surface and that’s how you know it’s a chocolate crinkle!

This recipe makes about 40 crinkles.

Yelly Writes

Missing the sestras!

23 Sep 201623 Sep 2016 Yelly

If you think a show about the moral and ethical implications of human cloning will mostly be a documentary, think again!

At this year’s Emmys, Tatiana Maslany won the award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series (FINALLY!). You might know her from The Woman in Gold, or The Vow. I thought it was well deserved, and I thought it was a gross injustice when she wasn’t nominated in 2014 and when she was finally nominated in 2015, I couldn’t believe she didn’t win! This woman plays all the clones (to date: Sarah, Cosima, Alison, Helena, Rachel, Krystal, MK, Beth, Katja, Jennifer and Tony…apparently there are 22 known clones but not all of them are actually in the storyline). They have different looks, different characters, different accents because of the different nationalities and different storylines! If you have trouble remembering the items on your grocery shopping list, have a think about Tatiana Maslany’s script work!

I was drawn to this show because, being the child of a geneticist, who spent most of free time in her father’s cytogenetics laboratory, the premise of the series was interesting. What would you do if you found out that you were a clone and there are several of you and and there was something sinister involved in your creation? Every time I watch episodes, I wonder what my father would think. I still think I should get him copies of the series. I think he’d enjoy it! But it might be a good idea for me to wait until the fifth series has been released as he might want to watch the entire series in one go!

I’ve now finished the final episode of the 4th series. Yep, I started watching it when it first came out in 2013! After the first 2 episodes, I was hooked. Really bad. Am so thankful for Apple TV because it means I could binge watch and find out what was happening to Sarah and her sestras (the clones call themselves sisters, and one of the clones is Helena who escaped from a Czech cult calls her sisters sestras so that caught on so now the clones – the main ones, Sarah, Cosima, Alison and Helena – call each other sestra). But it is addictive. Once you get hooked on OB, you’ll never not want to watch the next episode. It’s because each clone has a story and you start having a favourite clone, or you start wondering what Felix, or Mrs S or Art or the devious Castors are up to!

Now that I’ve finished Season 4, there is the interminable wait for Season 5. I have it on very good authority that Season 5 will be the last season for OB (silent scream: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!). I might need to get a box set just for me because I will miss OB, and like a junkie, I will need a fix. Because I will want to watch it over and over again, from the very beginning (which is always a very good place to start, even Fraulein Maria says so!).