Yelly Writes

I give it a year…

11 Aug 20236 Sep 2023 Yelly

For most of us, we get stronger slowly, and then get weaker slowly, with our cycles sometimes in synchrony with the land’s health, though other times independent of its larger cycles…You find yourself as you have always been, square in the middle of the metamorphosis, constantly living and dying: becoming weaker in your strength, finally… ― Rick Bass

The passage of time is relative…sometimes it feels like a day is over in the blink of an eye…and then there are days when it feels like time is dragging its heels.

I started writing this post a year to the day that I left my old life in Harwich. At the time, I was marking the anniversary of the day my entire world shattered into a million tiny pieces (I ended up posting a completely different blog entry). I moved away from a life I thought was going to be my forever life because the person I thought was going to be my forever person decided that I no longer belonged in his reality. Whatever his reasons (I’m sure it will be something I did because it was always my fault), I knew that I was no longer welcome in that environment and that I needed to go (my ex-forever person even helped me find a place to move to, wasn’t that nice of him?). While it was very polite and adult, it was becoming a toxic environment with the potential of becoming a powder keg situation. It was healthier for us to be apart rather than together. At the time, I absorbed all the blame, and even managed to convince myself that it was because I was at fault. After a lot of pragmatic soul-searching, I’ve come to accept that while I am to blame for the disintegration of the relationship, the blame is not entirely mine. I’m telling it like it is without any intention of assigning blame. It takes two people to make and break a relationship. It isn’t always 50/50 because relationships will require sharing the burden of balance, and sometimes, sharing the burden of balance requires that you carry more than half the burden. I know now that my understanding of relationships and the kind of compromises one is required to make was so different from his. I think his understanding didn’t factor in the gray areas (or maybe it did – we didn’t have the important discussions because I don’t think he liked laying himself bare because it made him vulnerable. I’ve accepted that he was all about protecting himself above all else). And that’s okay.

Life has certainly changed for me.

My environment has changed. My relationship status has changed. My living arrangements have changed. My appearance has changed considerably. My routine and habits are changing. My mindset is adapting to the changes in my life. My life is in constant flux and the only constant in my life right now is the certainty that change is a constant companion until I am able to settle into a rhythm that fits the person I am growing into. I’ve accepted that I was in a state of arrested development (because I’d willingly given up my life in order to adjust to the demands of my relationship with the ex) and because I’m no longer in that relationship, it’s as if the pause button has been pressed again and my life is moving forward again. To be fair, it’s probably not an accurate description of how my life is moving because I think my life pivoted when I was in my relationship and now that I’m not in it anymore, it’s pivoted again.

My life is pivoting again.

it certainly makes me wonder what my life will look like next year.

It’s a scary but exciting prospect!

Yelly Writes

Sitting well

8 Aug 202314 Aug 2023 Yelly

“Sometimes in life we need to sit with things for a minute, maybe on the fringe of things, not only to savor the wealth of the moment, but take a moment to figure out how to respectfully engage it.”
Craig D. Lounsbrough

Yelly Writes

Movie Quote – Must Love Dogs

6 Aug 202315 Aug 2023 Yelly

I’ve always laughed at this quote from Must Love Dogs. Lately it’s resonated for a different reason. Because I’ve actually found myself eating chicken over the sink! Ah the glamourous stylings of living alone!

I remembered the quote today because of a documentary I watched on Netflix – Poisoned: The Dirty Truth About Your Food. It’s just underlined the importance of food safety and being clean in the kitchen. If anything, I’m particularly thankful for my ex’s hyper-vigilance about being desperately clean when working with raw meats in the kitchen, in particular, chicken. I’m particularly fussy about washing fruit and veg, but I think being particularly aware about cross-contamination when dealing food has kept me safe in terms of food poisoning. That’s probably a whole other post in itself.

What are your food/produce washing habits like?

Yelly Writes

Gray day, local colour – God’s Own Junkyard

5 Aug 20236 Aug 2023 Yelly

Today was a bit of a washout in terms of weather situations. I was hoping for better weather because I had my niece and nephew over to visit me. I wanted to take them around The Stow because I thought there were interesting things to see around where I live…also I wanted to cheer them up a little bit. But Mother Nature had other ideas.

We had a bit of a soggy walk to God’s Own Junkyard but I hoped it was interesting enough for them. I’ve been to GOJ several times now, it just being around the corner from me but I’m always so surprised at how close it really is.

God’s Own Junkyard is a collection of new, used, salvaged, and reclaimed neon signs that would look so very comfortable in movie sets and fairgrounds. I do like having a bit of a wander because every time I go, there’s always something new to see. I always say it’s a welcome and gloriously riotous assault on the senses and I thoroughly recommend going and having a look at the lights. There’s a little bit of everyone for everyone – cute, staid, functional, sexy, pious, naughty, kinky an downright raunchy.

If anything, once you’re done, you can head to the lovely cafe and have a drink (tea, coffee, soda, cocktail or cocktail – the menu is quite good!) and a bite to eat if you fancy it.

It’s free to visit and I think it’s certainly worth a visit but note that because of the content and subject of some of the signs, parents are warned that there will be potentially awkward conversations with the little ones. Younger audiences will need a responsible adult to accompany them around. Also, pictures from mobile phones are encouraged but bigger cameras are very much discouraged. But visit! It’s an experience worth having!

God’s Own Junkyard is open Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays and is at the Ravenswood Industrial Estate, Shernhall Street, London, E17 9H. Remember to check the GOJ website for information on open dates and special events as they can be closed when things are happening.

Yelly Writes

TV quotes – Sweet Magnolias

2 Aug 2023 Yelly

I love a TV binge and I’ve just finished the last installment of Sweet Magnolias. I always feel like I watch too much TV because as soon as I finish a series I go “Now what?”

I enjoyed Sweet Magnolias because it was based on a series of books by Sherryl Woods, who was an author I read when I was in college (university for everyone in the UK). I used to devour romance novels and Sherryl Woods was one of my favourite authors (together with Sandra Brown, Julia Quinn, Judith McNaught, Teresa Medeiros…I could name so many more, to be completely honest!). I sometimes think my hopelessly unrealistic romantic tendencies can be traced to my romance novel addiction!

I posted this quote on my Instagram (follow me? I’m @yellywelly on most socials!) stories a few days ago because it struck a chord. I’m finding that a lot of things strike chords in me these days. Maybe because I’ve stopped ignoring the things that resonate. Or maybe because I’ve become decidedly sappy these days!

I’m waiting for the next few Virgin River episodes to drop (I think they’re meant to start airing on Netflix in the fall)…what’s on your watch list? Recommendations VERY welcome!

Yelly Writes

If I knew the difference then…

31 Jul 2023 Yelly

They always say that hindsight is 20/20 and I’m finding this so true these days.

@TherapyJeff or Jeff Guenther is a licensed therapist who I follow on Instagram and he has so nuggets of wisdom that I’ve filed away over the years. But this was from a reel that I saw today and I thought I’d share it. it resonated a lot and now that I think about, if I’d heard this then, I would’ve saved myself more than 20 years of off-and-on heartache!

Yelly Writes

Smell you later!

30 Jul 20232 Aug 2023 Yelly

I’ve always worn the same thing…very tailored, preppy, buttoned-down pin-striped, pin-tucked shirts, the occasional pleated skirt (or an a-line one), pressed trousers, sweater twin set, tailored jacket, turtle or mock turtle neck shirts, lots of stripey breton-esque sweaters or shirts, very navy or dark denim , loafers, ballet flats, brogues, white sneakers (I used to live in Keds!) which I think are called plimsoles in the UK. I don’t think I’ve deviated so much – although I think lately, I’ve started wearing longer, flowy dresses. Yeah I’ll be easy to pick up in a line-up. She’s the preppy one!

I’m the same with the scents that I wear! For the longest time, I used to wear Elizabeth Arden’s Green Tea. I’ve always liked light, fresh scents although some of my favourites aren’t necessarily light (love, love, love D&G’s The One and Armani’s Si and Chance by Chanel) but I’ve been known to wear Nenuco baby cologne on a daily basis, or L’Occitane’s Verbena or Eau de Givenchy, which is a current staple on my dresser. I’ve run out of EDG so am waiting for the next trip out where I can nip into duty-free to stock up! That being said, I’m tiding myself over with high street scents from Glossier (You) and & Other Stories (Punk Bouquet) and I treated myself to Jo Malone’s English Pear and Freesia (which I occasionally layer with another Jo Malone scent, Earl Grey and Cucumber).

I think the being partial to smelling nice is because everyone in my family always wore scents. My mom always wore Chanel or Dior (like her sisters) and she always smelled nice. My dad’s sisters and my granny were wearers of Chanel No. 5 and my Lola (my mom’s mom) always smelled of tea roses. my dad particularly was partial to Davidoff aftershave so I think I was always partial to a guy who always smelled nice. I remember this guy I used to sit next to in class in uni who used to wear Grey Flannel and I remember thinking “Goodness, he smells attractive!” But it was never about the blow your head off smell. It had to be subtle and not in your face. You don’t want a headache!

What’s your go-t0 scent?

Yelly Writes

Booktalk

29 Jul 202330 Jul 2023 Yelly

I’ve been walking through Waterstones Piccadilly on my lunch breaks because I know that I need to get away from my desk and give my eyes a screen break. There are also days when I can’t figure out what to eat so thinking about food just gets frustrating. Instead of wandering aimlessly through food stalls at the market at St James Piccadilly or staring at the shelves at the nearby Pret, I just head to Waterstones and look at the books on offer.

There is an almost indecent pleasure in finding a book that you’ve been wanting to get your hands on for a while.

It’s that moment, after searching through the bookshop (possibly for days during your lunch breaks) and you finally catch sight of it on a bookshelf. Your heart skips a beat then it starts racing because it’s THE book and you just have to have it.

It’s the intoxicating new book smell of it, the weight of it in your hands, the textures of pages, the book cover and the raised feel of the print on your fingertips. It’s the heat that gets generated when you hold it in your hands for a little longer than usual because you can’t let it go.

It’s the giddiness and the I-can’t-stop-smiling-because-I’ve found it feeling as you take it to the till to pay for it so you can take it with you outside the bookshop.

You can’t get that feeling from an e-book or an audiobook (well okay, if you bought the CDs for it…but does anyone actually do that anymore?).