Yelly Writes

Painful wakefulness

I started writing this entry at 23:23.   

I am awake, sitting on my couch and in pain.  I just wanted to stop crying about the pain my back was putting me through.  So I climbed out of bed, walked gingerly out of the bedroom and walked to my front room.  And then sobbed.  

It currently hurts to breath.  But it only hurts on the left side of my body.  My muscles are punishing me for doing something.  I’m not sure what.

So instead of focusing on the pain, I started breathing exercises to push through the pain.  Then I started thinking “Ooooh maybe I can read something to take my mind of trying to forget the pain.”  Because I always think engaging my brain helps me deal with whatever hurts – whether it’s a physical pain or something else. 

So now, I’m blogging.  Which is quite the surprise.  I haven’t actually written anything spontaneously in a very long while.  So in a way, I am thankful for the muscle pain that prompted me to get up.  It doesn’t matter whether or not this post makes sense or is at all positive (I’m writing about pain, so I’m thinking that’s a negative).  What’s important is that I’m writing again.  

I’ve got a few catch up posts to write.  Posts that I started whilst I was at home in the Philippines or in the weeks after I came home.  I need to be a little more disciplined about writing.  It is really like a muscle (hellooooo pain reference!), that needs to be exercised.  The longer I leave writing, the harder it is to approach the writing inertia.

And funnily enough, the only way to fight the writing inertia is to fight against the writing inertia.  What a predicament, eh?

It’s 23:34.  Not bad for 11 minutes work, huh?  It’s not exactly groundbreaking or profound.  But at least I’ve started writing again!

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Yelly Writes

The List

It’s a Sunday all over again.  Sometimes I wonder whether it’s really a sign that one is getting older that the days just whoosh past.  I wonder why I always feel like there’s not enough time in the day to do everything that I want to do.  I always feel like I’m not making the most of my time.  I know there is more to life than efficiency, but I kind of feel like I’m supposed to accomplish more than I’m supposed to.

There was one task that I meant to do before Sunday lunchtime and I was quite pleased with myself when I managed to finish it by 4PM yesterday.  I’m the worst procrastinator in the world but I do have off days.

Which brings me to my goals for 2016.  I thought I’d set goals that were relatively sensible.  I have this dream of turning my absorption about food into something that earns me money.  I’m not quite sure yet how I’m going to get there and where “there” is, but this year, I want to do things that’ll help me find out where I want to go!  So that being said, this is my working list (open to additions and amendments, of course!):

  1.  Blog at least once a week.  So at the end of the year, I should have at least 52 entries for this year!
  2. Learn a recipe a week – sweet or savoury.  My goal really has been to cook through all my cookbooks.  Not entirely sure I will want to do that because I’d rather bake cakes.  But life is a balance.  So I need to make sure I cook and bake!
  3. Finish my 2 CBT books.  I need to finish them because I’m still working on my emotional equilibrium!
  4. Be more organised at work – the ultimate goal is to become more proactive than reactive.  I used to be so organised.  I used to multi-task ever so effciently.  I want to get back to being Capability Jane and have a feeling of control over my work again.
  5. Learn that it is important to find that sweet spot where work and life are balanced.  Work is important but so is my personal life and the relationships in it!

This is my working list.  I think these goals are realistic.  The first 3 items are easy enough to schedule in.  But the last 2, well, these need sitting down and thinking about.  It’s the thinking about that is easily injected with procrastination and avoidance.  But I am working on that!

I am determined to make 2016 the year I certainly sort things out.  My life is certainly more complicated than I want it.  2016 is the year I declutter and make sure I have only what is necessary and bring out what is surplus.

Snoopy determined