There are times when you just know it’s time to stop putting yourself out there for some people. There are times when you just have to say this is as far as I go with you. I care about you. But I care about me too. I don’t think I should try as hard anymore. Following the Golden Rule is well and good. Treating people the way I want to treat people is what I have always done. Because I believe that it does come back to you. Positivity creates positivity. Kindness begets kindness. But the flip side of it is, one does get to a point where one decides, that’s all I’m going to give out because I need to keep something back for myself.
Bon weekend!
I know it’s really bad to wish one’s life away, but life has been fairly manic lately. I actually dislike Mondays and start wishing for Friday on Tuesday mornings! Also when I say life, I mean work. I currently have no work-life balance. I get up, get ready for work, get on the train to go to work, work, break for lunch (aka eat at my desk and work, or go to Tesco and Lakeland to do a bit of research for my big project, so yes, it’s sort of like work too!), work some more, go home, eat, wash up, read work emails and write down to-do lists for the next day whilst the TV drones on in the background, bathe-rinse-tone-moisturise, go to sleep…and repeat.
I am going to be ever so glad when 31 January rushes past (my days seem to rush past me these days) because it’ll be the end of income tax return submissions and things will settle down a little. At least I hope so. It hasn’t happened yet. I was promised downtime. Downtime has yet to make a cameo appearance.
But sometimes, one looks up and sees how beautiful nature is. Sometimes, even when one is bone-tired, brain dead with exhaustion, God shows you the perfection of His creation and you smile. Beauty has a way of sweeping away the exhaustion and stresses of the work week. This was exactly what happened to me today. I was rushing to the train station, having left my desk later than I planned (again), praying to the Lord to make me move faster so I didn’t miss my train. I just happened to look back and saw this fabulous, stunner of a sunset. I just had to take a snapshot and share it with everyone.
Thank you for this Lord!
The List amendment
So I’m looking at my list and I am struck by the niggling feeling that I left something out. I know I said that it was a working list and that things would be added. But as I kept rereading my list I kept asking myself, “what did I forget to write down?” And I took the biggest intake of breath I’ve ever taken. How could something so important, so integral in my life be left out? How could I forget?
My faith and my relationship with my God is a fundamental part of my life whether I talk about it or not. I would, however, love to talk about my journey in faith much more than I do. I’ve always been afraid of sounding too preachy or “religious”. But why should I be afraid? Why should I not talk about a part of me that strengthens me, that more often than not, carries me through my life journey?
My faith and my relationship with God gets me through everything – all the highs and lows of my life are underlined by how I see God working in my life. Why shouldn’t I talk about this wonderful relationship that is a constant in my life?
So the first amendment to my list is this: To write about my faith more.
The List
It’s a Sunday all over again. Sometimes I wonder whether it’s really a sign that one is getting older that the days just whoosh past. I wonder why I always feel like there’s not enough time in the day to do everything that I want to do. I always feel like I’m not making the most of my time. I know there is more to life than efficiency, but I kind of feel like I’m supposed to accomplish more than I’m supposed to.
There was one task that I meant to do before Sunday lunchtime and I was quite pleased with myself when I managed to finish it by 4PM yesterday. I’m the worst procrastinator in the world but I do have off days.
Which brings me to my goals for 2016. I thought I’d set goals that were relatively sensible. I have this dream of turning my absorption about food into something that earns me money. I’m not quite sure yet how I’m going to get there and where “there” is, but this year, I want to do things that’ll help me find out where I want to go! So that being said, this is my working list (open to additions and amendments, of course!):
- Blog at least once a week. So at the end of the year, I should have at least 52 entries for this year!
- Learn a recipe a week – sweet or savoury. My goal really has been to cook through all my cookbooks. Not entirely sure I will want to do that because I’d rather bake cakes. But life is a balance. So I need to make sure I cook and bake!
- Finish my 2 CBT books. I need to finish them because I’m still working on my emotional equilibrium!
- Be more organised at work – the ultimate goal is to become more proactive than reactive. I used to be so organised. I used to multi-task ever so effciently. I want to get back to being Capability Jane and have a feeling of control over my work again.
- Learn that it is important to find that sweet spot where work and life are balanced. Work is important but so is my personal life and the relationships in it!
This is my working list. I think these goals are realistic. The first 3 items are easy enough to schedule in. But the last 2, well, these need sitting down and thinking about. It’s the thinking about that is easily injected with procrastination and avoidance. But I am working on that!
I am determined to make 2016 the year I certainly sort things out. My life is certainly more complicated than I want it. 2016 is the year I declutter and make sure I have only what is necessary and bring out what is surplus.
Goal setting for 2016
Like so many others, I have had lists (and lists) of New Year’s resolutions. Some of them achieved, some of them started but not finished, some of them just left on the list without progress. I have always allowed myself excuses like I’m too busy at school or, my current one, work has kept be too busy to do anything else. I have made the usual resolutions to lose weight, keep tidy, finish this or that project, read more…you name it, I’ve probably resolved to do something similar.
But 2016 is different. It’s a milestone year for me and I intend to make things special. I intend to tick everything off my to-do list. I want to look at my to-do list on 31 December 2016 and look at all those lovely and resolute ticks! So this year, I have resolved to sit down and think about what I really want to achieve this year. I am also a major procrastinator so I’m not going to allow myself the luxury of waiting. I have the art of prevaricating down to a science! But I am determined that I will have my goals set by this time next week!
I want to find that lovely balance between work and leisure time. I want to make all my efforts count!
I am determined!
The rules of regifting
Regift: (1)noun: an unwanted gift used by its original recipient as a gift for someone else; (2)verb: give an unwanted gift that one has received to someone else as a gift
Now, I don’t mind getting recycled gifts…especially if it’s baking supplies (specialty bundt tins, moulds, brand new spatulas, unopened and unused storage solutions)! But this Christmas, I received a regift. The gift was a bath set. I am all for skin care because, lately, I’ve been struggling with my skin (it’s constantly dry and itchy and I am willing to try any product that can help alleviate the discomfort). The scent was nice, and relatively neutral and was from a fairly good brand. I opened one of the bottles and my heart sank because there was crusty residue on the foil seal. But when I opened the bottle, the bath gel was viscous, clear and looked okay. So I told myself it was fine. It had a handy spongy scrub thing which I thought was interesting and I did need a new bath sponge so I thought, “Score!” It wasn’t until I opened the body cream that I had the shock of my life. It was already opened and used! Hmmm. I checked the packaging and noticed that the side tapes that usually fasten most boxed bath sets weren’t there. There was a huge chance that my gift was a regift.
Emily Post says that it’s not exactly acceptable to regift, while it is practical and financially sensible, because you are being inherently deceitful and you open yourself to a situation where you might hurt the feelings of the original giver of the gift and the receiver of the regift. Emily Post says that there are only a handful of situations where regifting can be acceptable and that regifting should be done only very rarely:
- If you’re absolutely certain that the gift is something the recipient would REALLY like to receive.
- The gift is brand new (absolutely no cast offs allowed!) and comes with it’s original packaging and instructions.
- The gift isn’t one that the original giver took great care to select or make.
- It’s not handmade or personalised (think monogrammed or engraved).
I have been tempted to regift a few gifts before. But I’ve always stopped. Not because it would be tacky. That didn’t even enter the equation. When I give gifts, I think about the person receiving the gift, what their personality is, what they like doing, what I think will make them smile. I like to think that people who give me gifts do that too (I have faith that people follow the golden rule you see: treat others the way you want to be treated, etc.). Plus I am always, always worried that the person who give me the gift and the person who receives my recycled gift will find out what I did. Now that would be trés awkward, n’çest pas?
I think if you are going to regift, please make sure that:
- the gift is in the original packaging, can be resealed with nary a trace of it being opened
- never regift opened toiletries (in the same way you don’t let people use your deodorant or your toothbrush!)…or toiletries full stop (unless it’s perfume, or something you know the person receiving it will absolutely love it!).
- the recipient and the original gift giver won’t ever find out about the origins of the gift (i.e. individuals in different social circles)
- regift only if you’re dead certain the person will absolutely love the gift and won’t mind where the gift came from
- in this age of social media, it’s not something you posted a photo of online!
- wrap the package in an absolutely fabulous way…because if you didn’t spend that much time selecting the gift, at least you spent an inordinately absurd amount of time making sure the gift wrapping is pretty!
I am trying very hard to get over the regifting faux pas…it was such an icky moment! I am sure that the person really wanted me to get a gift from them. It’s just that…well, I’d sooner not have a gift really, if it was something that they took out of the back of their cupboard and dusted off and wrapped up just for the sake of saying that they gave me a gift.
Sadly, the bath set is going into the bin.
Happy Christmas!!!
During this season of giving,
let us take time to slow down and enjoy the simple things.
May this wonderful time of the year touch your heart in a special way.
Wishing you much happiness today and throughout the New Year.
The prep
All I can hear right now is the Coca-Cola advert when I think about Christmas coming. I’ve started to listen to Christmas carols on the journey to and from work to lift my spirits. Christmas is a busy time at work (it’s nearly the deadline of submission of annual tax returns in the UK – don’t forget your tax return folks! The deadline for online submissions is on 31 January For more information check the HMRC website) but despite the busy time, admittedly,I get the holiday blues being so far away from home. Listening to carols reminds me of the good times and makes me smile and feel better. Two years in the running now I’ve been listening to Pentatonix. They’re an a capella quintet from Arlington, Texas. I love listening to them because the harmonies remind me of the chancel choir I used to be part of at home in the Philippines.
In an effort to be a little bit more organised this year, Alan and I have devised a (more organised) plan. We’d cook or prep and freeze things that we can prepare ahead of time so that we didn’t have to rush around like headless chickens the night before Christmas. This year, right now, we already have the following:
- A shared Christmas shopping list (courtesy of this handy app Our Groceries, and yes, there’s a free version on iOS and Android!) with most of the items ticked off
- A rough (adjustable) schedule of things to do which should finish the last Sunday BEFORE Christmas
- Gift wrapping supplies (for last minute gift-wrapping)
- Pigs in blankets made (we bought sausages and wrapped streaky bacon around them), wrapped up, and in the freezer
- Stuffing mixed and placed in baking tins, wrapped up and in the freezer
- Braised red cabbage done and in the freezer waiting to be thawed
- Baking supplies in hand for baking projects
- A large shopping bag already filled with nibbles (i.e. crisps, biscuits, crackers, candy, etc.)
With Christmas 12 days away, I’ve got the tree up, Christmas decorations all over the flat and the fridge stocked with Christmas things. I’m not feeling as rushed as I usually do at Christmas. All we have to do now is get the turkey and get the veg and figure out timings for cooking the turkey and the fixings!
I am soooooooo ready for Christmas!
‘Tis the season!
Tick tock says my body clock!
My body clock is so screwed up at the moment. It’s after 10PM and I am now wide awake. About 2 hours ago, I was as groggy as can be. It doesn’t help that I’ve just come back from New York (yes, I may have mentioned it in a previous post!). What I found completely strange was while I was in New York, my body clock was still on UK time. So I thought when I came back from the trip I’d be okay.
I didn’t factor in the fact that I could have post-travel illness. I normally don’t get really sick after a trip, just really tired. But this trip was different. I came back with a sore throat with a slight tickle that made me cough and a fever with a slightly runny nose. It’s gone down hill since Wednesday. I am keeping myself up with all the coughing and have found myself drifting off to proper sleep at 4 or 5AM! It doesn’t help that tomorrow is a work day and I’ve got to go in and catch up on a week and a half’s worth of work!
Where is that lottery win when you need it eh?
I loved New York. I just wanted more time to reacquaint myself with the city. I didn’t do a properly touristy visit when I was last in New York. We went to a few choice places (I was with my parents and my baby sister) but didn’t really experience New York as such. Not properly.
This trip was different. I managed to see, maybe, 400% more than when I had when I was with my family. I even managed to start understanding the Metro subway system, which, I think, in itself, was a major achievement!
It was a good time because I was ticking off places that I’ve seen in New York movies.
Tomorrow, I’m going to get an antitussive so that I can stop coughing and get something to soothe my sore throat. I’m going to go take a hot, steamy shower in the hopes that it will help my congestion. One thing that the trip did highlight was the familiarity of the US pharmacies to what I grew up with in Manila. I miss the familiar brands and the familiar generic medicine names. When I’m less groggy, less coughy and generally feeling better, I’ll write about the food and my New York highlights!
Watch this space!
Yellywelly 