I very rarely, if at all, post updates about anyone else’s health, except mine. Mainly because I always feel like that disclosure is not mine to make. BUT please could I ask you all to include my father in your prayers.
My Abba was brought to the hospital in the early hours of Thursday, Manila time. It was still Wednesday in England and I was walking to the station to take the train home. I called my mum and she said they decided to bring my Abba to the hospital because he couldn’t breathe. After that conversation, it was decided that it was necessary to move my Abba into the ICU to treat the pleural effusion which meant he had fluid in his lungs. Apparently, they managed to remove 1.5 litres of water from his lungs. Because I bake, I have a visual idea of how much liquid that is and I am thankful that it is no longer in my Abba’s system.
Since then we have been told that my dad was suffering from atherosclerosis (to us non-medical folk it means the hardening of the arteries) and that he can overcome this and get better. The worse case scenario, of course, is that his heart can just decide to stop working. I understand that this is a possibility but right now, I think everyone can understand that I’d rather not think about that possibility right now.
This morning, I called my mum hoping to get a chance to chat to my Abba. In the course of our conversation, my mum told me that my dad has endothelial dysfunction which from how I understand it is part and parcel of his atherosclerosis. I need to read up on this so I can understand it fully. It helps me deal with things if I can understand it. I’m not a doctor, but it’s always easier to deal with things emotionally if you know what you’re up agianst.
I have been crying a lot since Wednesday evening. Partly because I worry about my Abba, partly because I feel completely helpless because I am thousands of miles away. I have repeatedly asked my mum if I need to go home and she said it may be better for me to stay put, to stay where I am for the . It may sound harsh, but apart from waiting, there would be nothing for me to really do. I know that my father is in the best place he can be. He has the best doctors and nurses helping him, and it is true that there is nothing I can really do but to wait.
Even though I have had news that has caused me to cry this morning, I still thank the Lord for each new morning because each morning is another opportunity to be blessed. I am thankful because my Abba is out of the ICU. The road to recovery may be long or short, depending on how Abba responds to treatment, but I understand that it will not be straightforward. I can only keep praying and I can only keep trusting in Him. I know that everything the needs to happen will happen in God’s perfect time. This is a mountain that needs to be climbed one step at a time but I know that each step that we take, we take it with God by our side. Because He promised that He would never leave us, that He would never forsake us.
I rarely write about my faith in God, and it is a constant disappointment that I don’t. Because right now it is my faith that sustains me in this very difficult time. Because I am so far away from everyone, I feel very helpless. Everytime I start to cry, I just ask the Lord to get my father through this, to get my mum through this, to give us comfort so that we, as a family, get through this. I think if I didn’t have my faith to cling to, I’d fall apart, quite easily. My father is my rock and my anchor, and now that he is ill and it is, realistically, touch and go, I feel like I am this close to being cast adrift. But my faith grounds me. I know that everything that happens is part of God’s masterplan. I hold on to God’s promise that He holds us in the palm of His hand and that everything works together for good for those who love God (Romans 8:28).
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