Yelly Writes

My Duckie

So this little girl is celebrating her birthday today…well at least it is still her birthday here today.  I wish I could hug her and say how proud I am of her, of how she has taken on so much responsibility.  I wish I could tell her that I so believe in her capabilities and that I believe she can do anything she puts her mind to.

talulayI hope you had the most amazing birthday Duckie!  I know that William being well and truly married and Harry not really finished looking for himself is a huge disappointment, but remember this:

littlesister

 

Yelly Writes

Oh brother!

Clara Ortega said “ To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.”  And I agree.

To me you will always be the little boy who “break dances” by spinning on the floor, on his tummy, the one who invents words, our source of joy and entertainment.  I pray that you will be blessed beyond your desires, because we are so very blessed by you.

Happy birthday (big) little bro!

CurlySue

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Yelly Writes

My July so far…

It’s been quite an eventful July for me.  Eventful being the operative word and the understatement of the year.  It’s been a doozy.

My father has been ill and in and out of the hospital again.  We’ve been through a lot since he suffered a stroke two years ago and he was diagnosed with artherosclerosis.  But he is stubborn.  Wonderfully stubborn.  I think his stubbornness has buoyed him and coupled with his determination to get better, he has overcome a lot of obstacles.  But he is now back home again.  And I am so thankful that he is such a fighter.

We’ve had a mini-heatwave and I’m suffering!  Can you believe it?  The Filipina who has lived in a tropical country for 4/5 of her life is now suffering in temperatures that would be considered cool in the land of her birth?!?  I’m still recovering from a possible heatstroke from being in London last weekend!

Work has been work and I constantly get on the work carousel where I love it and hate it in a sequence.  At the moment, another change has happened that I’m really pleased about.  So I think I’m going to be happy waking up most mornings and logging in to open my emails.  I just need to pace myself because I think my carpal tunnel syndrome is rearing its ugly and horrible head again.

But the unthinkable happened on Thursday.  I lost my phone.  And it’s not something I can blame on someone else.  It was all my fault.

The trains were late on Thursday (surprise, surprise!).  When the trains finally arrived, I got on the usual carriage and noticed that it was strangely empty in the front half.  I simply thought, “oooh more seats, yay!”  Little did I know that the front half of the carriage was empty because of Mr Smellyman, sitting in the 6 seater section.  I plonked myself gratefully on the seat and my phone beeped.  It was a text message from home.  When it’s from my sister or my mum or my friends, I kind of drop everything to look at the message.  After I replied, I noticed the stink.  It was horrible.  It was then that the reality sunk in that the reason that part of the carriage was empty was because of the man I was sharing the 6-seater section with!  In my haste to vacate the premises, I must have put down the phone on the seat instead of into my bag.  I only realised that I lost my phone after the train left Marks Tey and it was probably too late by then.

When I got home, I rang my number and it went straight to voicemail.  My heart sank because no amazing and kind soul handed in my phone at a train station.  But I still lived in hope.  You hear all these wonderful stories about people handing phones and purses in.  I, myself, have done that a few times.  I’ve handed in a shopping bag with lots of purchases, a man’s wallet, someone’s ticket holder with cash, a Blackberry when it was still fashionable to have one (around 2011, I think) and the first incarnation of a Samsung Edge.  I had hoped that someone would also do that for me, if I lost my phone.  It’s been 48 hours since I lost the phone.  No one has gotten in touch and no one has handed it in.

I have accepted that I have completely lost my phone.

And yes, it was quite painful…I am still recovering.

To date, I think this is what I’d call my mense horribilis.

Yelly Writes

Struggling

I am struggling to blog these days.

While I would love nothing more than to blog about food, the books I’ve read (I’ve managed to finish reading Jojo Moyes’ Me Before You!  Hurray me!), the places Alan and I have been to eat, the musicals I’ve seen, it feels a bit self-indulgent.  My father is still very ill and I feel that any enjoyment I feel about my life here is not allowed.  He would say otherwise of course, because he has always said that I should live my life, that I should live the life I dreamed.  But I cannot help but feel selfish.

I will write properly because to write about them would be honouring my father’s wishes.  But right now I will allow myself to worry about him.  Tomorrow is Sunday and Skype day.  I will be able to chat with them and see all of them.

There are days when my grip on my faith is loosed by doubt.  Why is my Abba still ill?  Why is God letting him go through all this pain?  But then I am reminded that these are questions that I mustn’t really ask.  Because the God I believe in does not want His children to suffer.  The God I believe in will turn a bad situation into a good one.  The God I believe in is the God that heals.  The God I believe in is a God who will take His children in His arms and comfort them.  I know that I cannot understand my God’s wisdom because that is beyond my understanding.  I must trust in His plan.

In His perfect time and according to His perfect plan.

That is what I must hold on to.

Yelly Writes

Mothers Day

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Today we all celebrate our very own superwomen.  I’m lucky because I get to celebrate Mothers Day twice.  Today in the UK, as it’s Mothering Sunday and during the second Sunday in May when the Philippines (and I think most of the world) celebrates Mothers Day.

My dearest Ima. there are so many things I would like to thank you for. I thank the Lord daily for you, for all the things you do for us, for all the things you have done for us, for all the things you have given us and the things you give to us. But most of all, I thank you for raising us in a household founded on faith. Your faith has sustained us even during the most difficult of times. Your faith has buoyed us during the storms of life and we will forever be blessed by your daily testament of faith. Your faith has sustained ours and has strengthened our faith in God. That is your most precious gift to us.

Happy Mothers Day Mama!  Today, most especially, I wish I could hug you.  I love you.

Yelly Writes

Comfort seeking

These are challenging times.

If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ll know that I’ve been worrying over my father, who is still in hospital.  We encountered a setback today.  He was supposed to go home tomorrow but that’s not happening now.  I still believe that he is in the best place that he can be.  He has the best doctors and he is where he can be treated immediately.  I know that science can only do so much.  The rest I believe that God will take care of.

I am feeling a little delicate tonight.  I know that I will cry at a drop of a hat.  So I’m trying to entertain myself.  I’ve got Mary Berry on the telly cooking her perfect beef stew and I am trying to blog.  I am desperately trying not to be morose but I think I am failing miserably.

I’d like nothing better than to go to bed and pull the duvet over my head.  And maybe have a good cry.

Sorry everyone.  Pass the kleenex.

 

Yelly Writes

Sunday Devotion

Sunday is usually family Sunday Skype Day.  I chat to my folks and they chat back by video chat.  We haven’t been able to do that properly for a couple of Sundays now.  My dad is still in hospital but he is improving.  His catheter and IV has been removed.  He’s now in rehab for the stroke that he suffered to strengthen his left side.  Instead of a video chat, I phoned my mum and said a quick hello to my Abba on the phone.  There is something that I can’t put a finger on, something that worries me.  But I can’t seem to articulate it, I can’t seem to describe it.  This I lay down at my God’s feet.  This I lift up to Him to take care of.  I also lift up my worrying heart and ask Him to allay my fears and to calm my worrying heart.

Instead of spending the time chatting to my family, I have read several devotionals instead.  The verse below has hit home and has helped me deal with my situation.

“But His joy is in those who reverence Him, those who expect Him to be loving and kind” (Psalm 147:11).

It always amazes me how much God loves us.  And I mean REALLY loves us.  We have free will and He doesn’t stop us from doing our own thing.  But when things go wrong, He makes it possible for us to find our way back to Him.  He loves it when His children go out and be independent, but He loves it even more when we are completely dependent on Him.  He would rather we completely depend on Him.  And that suits me just fine.  It’s easy to say “Keep the faith” or “Just trust God” but because we are human, we have human frailties and we are, by nature, driven to be independent and our self-preservation instinct automatically kicks in and we find it difficult to depend on anyone or anything else for safety.  But going it alone brings a shedload of stress and heartache!  I am so blessed and eternally grateful that my God is there for me, that I can completely depend on Him and I can leave my cares at His feet and I can trust that He will make everything better.  The reassurance that God wouldn’t have it any other way just stills my worrying heart.

Yelly Writes

Happy birthday Mama!

It’s my Mama’s birthday today and I really wish I could be there to celebrate it with her.  It’s sort of a milestone birthday.  She’s 65 today.  In the Philippines, 65 is retirement age.  For everyone, male or female.  But she isn’t retiring quite yet as her office has asked her to extend for 6 months.  My mum, I think, is looking to enjoying her retirement, but at the same time, I think she enjoys her work because she finds her work experiences challenging.  I think that’s why she didn’t mind extending for a few months.

Mama

Dearest Mama, my respect, love and gratitude for you is no different than your love for me, without boundaries. You are my crowning support and one of the best things in my life. It does not matter how old I am, your hug is still the warmest and safest place on the earth for me.

Happy Birthday Mama! I love, love, love, love you!

Yelly Reads

College Orientation

I haven’t blogged in a while and I think it’s quite fitting that my next post is about family.

A little family book promotion can’t be bad, can it?  My cousin Karen Bendersky has written a book with Catherine Chastain-Elliot called College Orientation.  It’s available on Amazon on to pre-order and the release date is 01 January 2013.  Amazon describes the book as:

College Orientation targets freshmen entering four-year institutions and is designed for use from college orientation programs until graduation day and beyond. It provides a roadmap for campus staff and faculty offering orientation programs to facilitate behaviors that increase retention, improve four-year graduation rates, and ultimately, reduce student loan debt. Students receive the information they need to adapt to college life and stay on track towards a degree–all the while learning behaviors that promote achievement after graduation. This comprehensive reference tool is written from an insider’s point of view and has a distinct focus on promoting appropriate college conduct. It covers a multitude of topics that help students navigate the university system while learning how to adapt this information to their future workplace.

If you’ve got someone prepping for college or, as they say in the UK, uni, this book might come in handy!

College Orientation by Karen Bendersky

Yelly Writes

Happy birthday Abbadabbadoo!

 

 

It’s my Abba’s birthday today.  He’s in the Philippines and miss him terribly.  I miss our chats and the jokes that we share (our weekly Skype sessions help though!).  And everytime I think back to my childhood, I think, my goodness, I have the coolest dad!  Not only is he Jewish, he’s a geneticist too!  This was the man who helped me make a science project about electical circuits without going to the hardware store.  We made everything from recycled materials!  This happened even before recycling was the fashionable thing to do!  And, while I always laugh at him when he does his version of the Bill Cosby father dance, I think it’s very cute!

As I grow older I appreciate more and more everything that he has done for us, given up for us and taught us so that we could be the best that we can be.  I did follow most of the advice almost blindly at the time but only now do I understand why he would tell me to do certain things a certain way.  He’s been through a lot of things and he has always wanted his children to not make the same mistakes he’s made, that’s why he insists that we do things his way.  When I think about the times when I thought I was being smart and independent by doing things MY way, I just shake my head.  I should’ve listened and did things my way.  I would’ve saved myself a lot of heartache!

Thank you for everything Abba.  Without you, quite literally, I wouldn’t be where I am today.  Happy birthday!  I love you!