Author: Yelly

Taking each day one smile at a time!
Yelly Writes

Solo photo walk surprises

Yelly
@yellywelly on Instagram

I don’t remember taking this photo. But I remember the day I went out on a walk because I needed to stop staying indoors and crying my eyes out. I thought I’d take my camera with me and try to get into photography again. It wasn’t the best of ideas because taking photographs brought back a lot of memories of a life I once thought I was going to live forever. But it gave me something to do that day. It allowed me to focus on something else. It allowed me to look at what was right in front of me, to be in the moment, to focus on what was happening at that very moment.

Funnily enough, I can remember the wind blowing that day, and how refreshing it was, compared to the heat beating down on that lovely sunny day. It was a good day, hot, but the wind blowing was a welcome relief! It was nowhere near as punishingly hot as the heat we went through a few days ago! Now that was a different kind of hot!

I like this photo though! I can never properly set up my camera so that I have sunbursts but sometimes I remember and I do it sort of right. It’s either that, or I get lucky! Ha! I love how the sun gets filtered through the tree branches and the leaves.

I need to review the notes I wrote about camera settings a long time ago. I need to start taking this photography malarkey seriously again. I have all this gear sitting in the bottom tray of my stationery trolley not doing anything. It’s not like it’s fancy gear, mind you. But I do have an amazing camera and a few nifty camera gadgets. Waste not, want not, eh?

Yelly Writes

Starbucks, schmarbucks!

Yelly

So ages ago, I had a Starbucks account. I need to create one again.

But is it straightforward? Of course not? Apparently, I’ve tried to create an account several times already.

And have I?

Nope. First time today!

That being said, I had a lovely mocha from a local cafe this morning whilst I was running errands. It was made from Perky Blenders beans! Perky Blenders are an East London coffee roasting company. Now it makes sense that there are so many local cafes and stores that carry their grounds and beans!

It’s quite the slow Saturday. I’m allowing myself time to recover from all the goings on during the week. I’m taking today and tomorrow as recharge days. Next week will be busy again.

Yelly Writes

Just writing

Yelly

I probably have things to say, thoughts to share and interesting opinions to express. But right now, I’m completely devoid of the will to be smart, sassy, and loquacious. Have you ever had a day like that?

I know it’s the day and age of saying what’s on your mind and expressing yourself. But I’ve had a lot of repeat bouts of foot-in-mouth disease and allowing my verbal diarrhea to run riot (possibly not the best choice of words!) has never ended well for me. In fact, I think, the situation I find myself in currently is a result of that – me expressing myself as honestly as possible. Funnily enough, I was asked to be honest, and when I was, it blew up in my face! Go figure, eh? You give people what they want and they still hate it and you. You can’t actually win!

I’ve started watching Emily in Paris on Netflix. Yes, VERY late to that party! But I guess at the time, I would’ve probably not found it as entertaining as I do now.

I do disagree with Emily though, I think London is the most exciting city in the world. London with its quirks and its idiosyncracies. And now that I live in the city suburbs (yes, such an American term, eh), I’m looking forward to understanding this contrary city a little better (if that’s even possible!).

So just putting this out there…a picture I took of Carnaby Street yesterday!

@yellywelly on Instagram
Yelly Writes

Recovering

Yelly

…from jet lag.

I’ve been back from my Manila trip for a week now but I’m still feeling exhausted.

But apart from the jet lag, I’ve been battling with a lot of stuff. I think that’s why I’m feeling really drained. Also, during the trip to Manila, I found out that I lost at least 20 kilograms!

For those of you seasoned travellers, how to do you get over jet lag? My strategy is to through as much caffeine at it as I can during the time that I’m supposed to be awake. I’m not sure it’s working.

Help?

Yelly Writes

The End of Something

Yelly

I’m not actually writing anything profound. It’s just the title of the Season 2 cliffhanger episode of The Umbrella Academy, which I’m actually watching as I type this blog entry! And yes, I’m actually writing something! Yeah! Me!

In this day and age of on-demand TV subscriptions, what are you guys watching? Are you watching anything good? Why are you watching what you’re watching? I thought it was about time to watch the shows I wanted to watch with someone specific. I was holding off. But seeing as it’s no longer a viable option (the waiting to find out whether I could still have those binge-watch sessions) and I am curious as to what is going to happen to the characters I was once emotionally invested in, I thought it was a good distraction, to catch up on what Vanya, Luther, Diego, Allison, Five, Ben and everyone else was up to.

I’ve got Stranger Things on my list too.

Yelly Writes

Introspection

Yelly

Noun. The examination or observation of one’s own mental and emotional processes.

I’ve been going through a period of considerable flux. It’s forced me to reevaluate my entire life: my faith, my values, the relationships I have, the direction I’ve allowed my life to take, the decisions I’ve made and the decisions I’ve allowed people to make for me. And let me tell you, it was a painful and ugly process. It was hard to look in the mirror and not recognise the person staring back at me. How had I let myself get here?

I’ve had to face a lot of hard truths about myself. I’ve also had to have a lot counselling…something which I never actually thought I would find myself doing. But it has helped immensely. It has allowed me to see the positives in me that I needed to remember, so that I could rebuild and heal. I’m not saying it’s all rosy and happy-going now. It’s a process and I’m in no way even a third of the way through, not even a quarter there.

I’m going to have to start from scratch. I need to get to know myself again. Figure out what MY boundaries are, what my hard limits are, what my deal breakers are. I need to be comfortable with expressing how I feel, if I am hurt, if something feels uncomfortable, if something makes me feel disrespected, and what I need to feel seen, acknowledged, and considered. I need to stop apologising for expressing my feelings.

I know that I will need to redevelop my communication style, because I know that I have the unfortunate tendency to say what I think and I feel, without, necessarily, the required sensitivity filters. But one thing I am sure of, I no longer want to walk on eggshells in my own life. I refuse to apologise for speaking my mind and my heart.

I am going to rebuild my life on my terms.

© Igor Starkov
Yelly Snaps

Read a good book lately?

Yelly

I went to the V&A last week.

It was the Easter bank holiday and I was at loose ends. I went to visit John Gibson’s Pandora (which was a thing I did whenever I was at the V&A because she was a character I could relate to…but reflections on that is probably another blog entry all together!).

I missed going to the V&A and just exploring. If my hip hadn’t started hurting, I’d have explored some more. I couldn’t move my left leg without feeling pain. So I thought I’d take myself off to pick up provisions before I couldn’t actually walk anywhere. I probably need some physio on my hip.

One of the things I “rediscovered” was a reading room at the top of one of the stairs near the Cast Gallery. It’s the National Art Library. It has one of the best collections of public reference materials on art and design. I do want to be able to sit at one of the desks just to be in the space. It’s meant to be open on Tuesdays and Wednesdays in May and the V & A hope to open more days in the summer. It’s on my list to visit!

The photo below was taken from the doorway, through one of the window panes. If this is what it looks like through the door, how amazing would it be to sit at one of those desks and just absorb the gorgeousness?

Yelly Writes

Life lessons from The Devil Wears Prada

Yelly

This was a ding-ding-ding lightbulb moment when I first saw The Devil Wears Prada. Little did I know there would come a time when I could completely relate to it.

So where’s my promotion Six?

Yelly Writes

Still here

Yelly

This has been a recurring post.

I say that I’m still floating about, but that life has gotten in the way and that I haven’t written in a while. I have been writing though. Just not online. Writing things down in my journal because I’ve been trying to make sense of what I’m going through.

It’s been a tough few months.

The last few weeks have been even more challenging. Some days better than others. I’m taking it a day at a time. I know things will get better. I just can’t see it right now. But it’s a step at a time. One foot in front of the other. Some days even the smile sticks.

I just have to believe that things will get better.

Yelly Writes

Perspective

Yelly

I’ve not been feeling the urge to write. So I’m thankful for the ability to take photos. It allows me to put in content in other ways. I think the writing muses are letting me adjust to the massive change in my life. I don’t think I’m in the right grief stage. I’m waiting for the despondency to hit me…right when I’m vulnerable and not expecting it.

My feelings are still spaghetti-in-bowl tangled and I think I need to sort things out in my head first so that it makes sense to me.