Yelly Writes

Nearly over the threshold

The year is nearly over…my laptop clock reads 23:16.   I’m not really feeling super but I’m so staying up and watching the fireworks from London.  If I lived near Southbank…heck, if I lived in London, I’d be soooooo there, braving the crush of the crowds (and I have a slight phobia of crowds, so me braving any sort of crowd is a huge thing!), the cold and quite possibly the rain!

Most people spend the day contemplating the events of the year, what they’ve done, what they haven’t, what the wanted to do.  I’ve spent most of the year wanting to shout out “Stop the world, I want to get off!”  My year has been excessively busy with a shedload of events and lots of traveling from one end of the UK to the other.  A lot of people will be looking back at their year with regret because there are things they would have wanted to not do and I did sit and think about my 2012.  I looked at everything that’s happened and I asked myself whether if I regretted anything.  I’m glad that I am able to say that  I do not have any regrets.  Not a one.  Well, maybe just the one:  not being able to go home.  That’s the biggest regret really of the past 3 years.  I haven’t been able to go home.  Apart from that, I really wouldn’t want to change anything.  Because I think I came into my own in 2012.  I’ve learned a lot about who I am, what I can do, what I can take, how far I’ll go to achieve things, what I’m willing to sacrifice.

I can look at the mirror and smile at myself again.  Really smile at myself.  Because I know who I am now, I know exactly what I’m worth and I know I won’t settle and I won’t allow myself to be underappreciated.

2012 has flown by, with its share of joys and heartaches, with its bouts of being too busy to think and days when homesickness was heart-rending.  But I’m glad for the quick passage of time.  I often found myself marvelling at how quickly the year was passing by.  But in a way, I was also grateful for it.  Not being able to think for being busy can be quite the blessing.

So at 23:50, I will end this entry with a poem by Joanna Fuchs.  The next entry will be tomorrow, in 2013!

I’m writing this in a state of shock,
Watching the clock—tick tock, tick tock,
Advancing, approaching, relentlessly,
A brand new year; Oh, can it be?The calendar says the same thing, too;
Time races, vanishes for me; Boo hoo!
No, wait! If time flies, I’m having fun!
A year of fun! It’s gone! It’s done!I now embrace the blur of time,
Because it simply means that I’m
Too busy with pleasure, joy, delight
To mourn the passing days’ swift flight.So I’m wishing you fast, happy days,
Pleasuring you in myriad ways,
Filled with happiness and cheer,
Oh Happy, Happy Bright New Year!