I had written down this woeful entry about how tired I was, and how I wished I could just go to work tomorrow (as it is 8 minutes after midnight, I guess I should say later!) and just say, I’m going now, toodle pip! But I’m not a quitter. I may whine and cry about how hard it is but I try my best to get things done…with a smile on my face. I guess I’m just feeling the pressure at work and needed a good cry to relieve the tension. I hit the delete button and trashed the entry. It’s a good thing to vent, but not a good thing to send out negativity into the cosmos!
In my heart of hearts, I’d love a job where I can read, cook, bake and write. Does anyone need anyone to do just that? I’d love to do that, and, because we live in the real world, with real needs and real bills, I’d love to get paid for it too! But when I seriously consider what I want to do in this dream job of mine, the pesky self-doubt creeps in: Am I a good enough writer? Will people want to read what I want to say? Are my thoughts even interesting enough? Am I interesting enough? After I’ve wallowed in my self-doubt long enough for my hands and feet to go all pruney, I go back to my dream job drawing board, not to rethink, but to plan how I’m going to find a way to find that job that lets me do what I want and make money out of it! There has got to be a way for me to do what I love the most! But until I figure out how to do just that, I shall go back to the grind!
Now how’s that for verbal diarrhea?
I’m trying to decide which cookbook to write about: Lorraine Pascale’s Home Cooking Made Easy or Rachel Khoo’s Little Paris Kitchen. Any thoughts?