Yelly Writes

Change required

I have been ill for a week now.  I’ve had a massively bad migraine attack and I stayed home properly from work on Thursday.  The migraine happened on Sunday (although I felt what was probably the beginnings of it on Saturday evening) and I was suffering through a very painful head for most of the week.  It didn’t help that I forced myself to do a full day at work on the Monday.  I did the smart thing on Tuesday and stayed home and went to the doctor’s surgery.  They prescribed migraine meds (thankfully!) and signed me off for a week.  What I did next was worthy of a face-slap though.  I went back to work.  Obviously, I wasn’t allowed to stay because I was signed off and declared not fit to work.  For insurance purposes, my company isn’t allowed to have me in the premises.  I went home with the intention of going to my doctor again and getting myself signed in.

I have, however, stayed home.  Despite the hiccup of Thursday when I sent an email to a client asking them to do something that was a requirement.  I call it a hiccup because I should have, really, laid off work.  Properly.  I did on Friday though.  I haven’t checked my emails since I looked on Thursday morning.

I went to the eye doctor yesterday to get my eyes checked (I was due a check up anyway) and found out that because of my diabetes there is a bleed in my left eye and the doctor has found the beginnings of cloudiness in the lens of my right eye – which in short is the beginnings of cataract.  It’s because I have had amazingly high blood sugar in the past few months.

So I’ve been thinking.  I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.  I’ve got to make a lot of changes.  In my diet, my lifestyle, my life, my environment and in the way I work.  I’ve got to make changes because my future depends on it.

And the good thing about this is that the inertia I’ve allowed myself to be surrounded by is suddenly not there because I have had a huge wake up call.  If I want my life to get better, I’ve got to make changes.

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Yelly Writes

Now I’ve really done it!

This week has been a wash out.  A complete washout.  I haven’t been to work this week because I was in hospital overnight Monday night.

I’ve had a niggling headache for a couple of weeks and it all came to a head on Saturday.  I just starting feeling horrible and everything was out of kilter.  Then I started losing all the food that I was trying to eat.  And it went on throughout the weekend.  I didn’t want to worry my family in Manila so I had to keep fairly still when I was chatting to them on Skype so that I wouldn’t feel nauseous.  On Monday, I decided to go see the doctor because I still had the headache and I was still throwing up.  I thought it was another stomach bug that I’d caught while commuting as the people I travel with on the trains have no sense of infection control.

At the doctor’s surgery, I was examined and told that I had to go to the hospital because my blood sugar was sky high and because my symptoms pointed to something more serious.  It was slightly worrying because at that point I thought all I had was a bug.  So I took myself off to the hospital where I was told that they wanted to keep me overnight for observation.  So they popped an IV cannula in my arm to prepare me for what might be an insulin drip or something else.  From what I understood from the doctors, they wanted to rule out any neurology problems caused by either a throat or a lung infection, or something else.  It was the undiscussed “something else” that I didn’t like.  I didn’t like not knowing.  The fact that I was asked to do the Romberg test three times was a tiny bit worrying.  I only breathed a sigh of relief when the consultant said that my Romberg test showed “nothing of concern”.

Waiting for a hospital bed

I hate hospitals.  It reminds me of illnesses, deaths of family members and my brother being always ill when he was little.  But there I was, in NHS haute couture (aka a pink hospital gown that opens in the back), with a cannula (IV needle) stuck in my arm.  I felt really sorry for myself because hospitals in the UK are different from hospitals in the Philippines.  Hospitals in the Philippines allow for “watchers” to stay with the patient, hospitals in the UK don’t.  Mind you, I understand why people aren’t allowed to stay in the hospitals.  It all boils down to infection control.  So there I was, with a pounding headache, feeling completely sorry for myself and an iPhone that was running out of juice!  It was a good thing I had my Kindle with me because otherwise, I would have been bored out of my mind!  In hindsight, I found it funny that what I was most worried about was that my iPhone was running out of power.  I think, subconsciously, I just didn’t want to think about what was wrong with me.

IV cannula

I know it might sound inconsequential, but one of the reasons I disliked being in hospital was the food.  Hospital food is meant to nourish the body and not necessarily ambrosial!  I was famished because after tossing my cookies for two days, I, basically, hadn’t eaten anything for days!  So the evening I was admitted into hospital, I wasn’t really looking for anything to eat.  I did appreciate it when a lady wielding an efficient looking trolley of hot drinks asked if I wanted a cup of tea.  There is nothing more comforting than an cup of strong, milky tea!  Breakfast was whole wheat toast and a small bowl of bran flakes swimming in milk.  Lunch was minced beef, with boiled potates and vegetables with a bowl of rice pudding for dessert.  Lunch wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t inspired either, and dessert was just not right for a diabetic because it was overly sweet.  Don’t worry, I didn’t have any of it, save the little taste that I had.

Lunch

I was placed in a ward but was in a side room all by myself.  Mind you, I thought that was a good thing because, after I was settled into my room I started bawling my eyes out.  There I was, a grown woman, wanting my mummy!

I was told the following day that I could be discharged and that after all the tests and a CT scan, it was only an atypical migraine.  My blood sugar skyrocketing was due to the fact that I was throwing up and not keeping my meds in (at least, that’s my theory, and not the medical professionals’!).  I still have a headache that comes and goes and I think I may need to see the doctor again because my headache still hasn’t gone completely.  Although, that being said, it’s no longer a pounding, head-splitting pain and is more bearable with pain meds.

It was sort of a turning point experience because it made me look at how I’m taking care of myself.  I can’t really deny that I am a diabetic and I can’t go on living the way I live.  I can’t miss my medicines.  I really need to watch what I eat and my excuse that if I eat in moderation whatever I want will no longer work.  And I know I can still bake, but I need to bake more savoury things than the sweet things that I enjoy making.  I need to take care of myself.  I really need to.  Otherwise, I will find myself in an even worse predicament than I found myself this week!

What a week it has been!

Hospital bracelet

Yelly Writes

And the verdict is…

I have something viral (they didn’t want to say that I have the dreaded Noro virus aka the winter vomiting bug) and I have to wait 48 hours after the symptoms clear (also known as fever-diarrhea-vomiting) before I’m allowed to be let out amongst the humans.  I am currently in the midst of trying to stop rushing to the loo (the D&V is horrible and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy!).  What makes it worse is that because of the D&V, I’m not keeping in the meds I’m taking for Stay In Bed Daydiabetes and my blood sugar is sky-rocketing!  The nurse tested my blood sugar levels (I couldn’t test it because my meter’s battery has drained and it happened during the worse moment!) and it was 17.9!  The funny thing about my meds is one of the tablets does make you feel worse when you are ill!  So for the meantime, I’m not to take metformin and just take the gliclazide.

Can I also say that I’m absolutely famished but can’t really eat anything because I can’t keep anything down at the moment except saltine crackers and water?  So I’m ill, hungry and have a massive headache because I’m ill AND hungry.  Such a vicious circle to be in.  I’m thinking that I have to rethink my approach at taking care of myself and monitoring my diabetes better.  I really need to have a food diary set up.  I need to keep better track of my food and my blood sugar levels.  First thing to do is order batteries for my meter!  And that’s done so that’s a good start.

You’re probably wondering why I’m talking about this.  I just wanted to vent and well, the adage that misery loves company is so true!  I’m desperate for attention and sympathy!

The next few days are going to be really interesting.

But I’ll see you all on the other side!