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So this is 40?

It’s my birthday!  Hurrah!

So this is how 40 feels?  I don’t really feel any different from yesterday.  Sure, there are aches and pains, creaking bones and clicking mandibles, but apart from the carpal tunnelly hands, I think I’m okay.  Oh and I’ve seen (and dealt with) a few more grey hairs!

I have been thoroughly spoilt with birthday presents, flowers and birthday greetings.  People have been so kind.  I’m glad that I’ve done enough good to deserve the well-wishes.  Thank you to my church baby Nikki who wrote me a lovely message.  I wonder sometimes if I’ve become too distant, too protective of myself to do any good, to do something for other people.  I’ve been struggling with myself lately, having internal arguments about how I’m behaving.  I’m glad I am still doing something to make some people happy.  Because that’s all I ever really want, I want to make people happy.

birthday40I want this year to be the year I make improvements to myself.  I want this year to be the year I tick off some of the items on my personal to-do list.  I want this year to be the year I officially establish my real “hustle” (it’s a little something I learned from Emma Gannon‘s podcast – listen to Episode 9 where Emma interviews Paulette Perhach.  These millenials are so driven, you get energised just listening to them!) so that my current “hustle” becomes my “side-hustle” so that I can do what I really want to do!

It’s not going to be easy, because I am plagued with procrastination and I have the tendency to allow myself to be swallowed up by inertia.  I am bolstered, though, by the desire to do something else, to do something creative, to work for myself.

I am determined to do something this year.

at40I don’t look too bad for 40, do I?

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