Sunday is usually family Sunday Skype Day. I chat to my folks and they chat back by video chat. We haven’t been able to do that properly for a couple of Sundays now. My dad is still in hospital but he is improving. His catheter and IV has been removed. He’s now in rehab for the stroke that he suffered to strengthen his left side. Instead of a video chat, I phoned my mum and said a quick hello to my Abba on the phone. There is something that I can’t put a finger on, something that worries me. But I can’t seem to articulate it, I can’t seem to describe it. This I lay down at my God’s feet. This I lift up to Him to take care of. I also lift up my worrying heart and ask Him to allay my fears and to calm my worrying heart.
Instead of spending the time chatting to my family, I have read several devotionals instead. The verse below has hit home and has helped me deal with my situation.
“But His joy is in those who reverence Him, those who expect Him to be loving and kind” (Psalm 147:11).
It always amazes me how much God loves us. And I mean REALLY loves us. We have free will and He doesn’t stop us from doing our own thing. But when things go wrong, He makes it possible for us to find our way back to Him. He loves it when His children go out and be independent, but He loves it even more when we are completely dependent on Him. He would rather we completely depend on Him. And that suits me just fine. It’s easy to say “Keep the faith” or “Just trust God” but because we are human, we have human frailties and we are, by nature, driven to be independent and our self-preservation instinct automatically kicks in and we find it difficult to depend on anyone or anything else for safety. But going it alone brings a shedload of stress and heartache! I am so blessed and eternally grateful that my God is there for me, that I can completely depend on Him and I can leave my cares at His feet and I can trust that He will make everything better. The reassurance that God wouldn’t have it any other way just stills my worrying heart.
I have been exercising my prayer muscles more lately and I thought sharing what I’ve always thought was an Irish prayer would be apt, seeing that it was St Patrick’s Day yesterday:
May God give you…
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.
May this brighten your day and give you hope as you read it.
I very rarely, if at all, post updates about anyone else’s health, except mine. Mainly because I always feel like that disclosure is not mine to make. BUT please could I ask you all to include my father in your prayers.
My Abba was brought to the hospital in the early hours of Thursday, Manila time. It was still Wednesday in England and I was walking to the station to take the train home. I called my mum and she said they decided to bring my Abba to the hospital because he couldn’t breathe. After that conversation, it was decided that it was necessary to move my Abba into the ICU to treat the pleural effusion which meant he had fluid in his lungs. Apparently, they managed to remove 1.5 litres of water from his lungs. Because I bake, I have a visual idea of how much liquid that is and I am thankful that it is no longer in my Abba’s system.
Since then we have been told that my dad was suffering from atherosclerosis (to us non-medical folk it means the hardening of the arteries) and that he can overcome this and get better. The worse case scenario, of course, is that his heart can just decide to stop working. I understand that this is a possibility but right now, I think everyone can understand that I’d rather not think about that possibility right now.
This morning, I called my mum hoping to get a chance to chat to my Abba. In the course of our conversation, my mum told me that my dad has endothelial dysfunction which from how I understand it is part and parcel of his atherosclerosis. I need to read up on this so I can understand it fully. It helps me deal with things if I can understand it. I’m not a doctor, but it’s always easier to deal with things emotionally if you know what you’re up agianst.
I have been crying a lot since Wednesday evening. Partly because I worry about my Abba, partly because I feel completely helpless because I am thousands of miles away. I have repeatedly asked my mum if I need to go home and she said it may be better for me to stay put, to stay where I am for the . It may sound harsh, but apart from waiting, there would be nothing for me to really do. I know that my father is in the best place he can be. He has the best doctors and nurses helping him, and it is true that there is nothing I can really do but to wait.
Even though I have had news that has caused me to cry this morning, I still thank the Lord for each new morning because each morning is another opportunity to be blessed. I am thankful because my Abba is out of the ICU. The road to recovery may be long or short, depending on how Abba responds to treatment, but I understand that it will not be straightforward. I can only keep praying and I can only keep trusting in Him. I know that everything the needs to happen will happen in God’s perfect time. This is a mountain that needs to be climbed one step at a time but I know that each step that we take, we take it with God by our side. Because He promised that He would never leave us, that He would never forsake us.
I rarely write about my faith in God, and it is a constant disappointment that I don’t. Because right now it is my faith that sustains me in this very difficult time. Because I am so far away from everyone, I feel very helpless. Everytime I start to cry, I just ask the Lord to get my father through this, to get my mum through this, to give us comfort so that we, as a family, get through this. I think if I didn’t have my faith to cling to, I’d fall apart, quite easily. My father is my rock and my anchor, and now that he is ill and it is, realistically, touch and go, I feel like I am this close to being cast adrift. But my faith grounds me. I know that everything that happens is part of God’s masterplan. I hold on to God’s promise that He holds us in the palm of His hand and that everything works together for good for those who love God (Romans 8:28).
After early morning phone calls to catch a family lunch in Manila, a hurried breakfast after present opening, the mad dash to cook the turkey with all the trimmings, recovering from a food coma, watching the requisite Christmas TV shows (and the Queen’s Christmas message, of course!), and watching the regeneration of the new Doctor, I am now relaxing and taking advice from her Majesty. She said that “we all need to get the balance right between action and reflection. With so many distractions, it is easy to forget to pause and take stock.” And that’s exactly what I’m doing , pausing, reflecting and taking stock — while watching the Downton Abbey Christmas Special.
Christmas has always been wonderful because it has always been magical. It is a season filled with joy and wonder and most of all, love. Because it is love that is the real reason for the season. God loved us so much that He sent his Son to be with us. And because of Jesus’ birth, we have Christmas and we have a wonderful excuse to celebrate (in a big way) faith, love, family, friends, lovely fattening food, and most of all life (with all its joys and sorrows). I hope everyone had a smashingly spectacular Christmas filled with wonderful moments! Merry Christmas everyone!
I grew up going to church every Sunday. I will even go as far as to say that I have 2 home churches, one that I grew up in and one where I grew up spiritually in. I went to Sunday school. I sang in the children’s choir. I eventually taught Sunday school and daily vacation church school. My summers were spent in church and I was there nearly everyday! I sang in the church chancel choir and completely immersed myself in all the church activities. I spent so much time in church that I think it would be natural for me to miss church at Easter.
I think it’s fair to say that Easter is one of the busiest weeks in the Christian calendar, apart from Christmas. Funnily enough, there is a Filipino term (Pasko ng Pagkabuhay) which translated means Christmas of the Resurrection. We start counting down to this week from Ash Wednesday. But it all starts unfolding on Palm Sunday, when Christians celebrate Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem with a Palm Sunday service. The Catholics in the Philippines have their beautifully woven palm fronds blessed in church and they display this in their homes, mostly on their windows. I grew up in a Methodist church and while we didn’t have the blessing of palm fronds, children of the Sunday school class came into the church waving their palms to re-enact Jesus’ triumphant entry. This Sunday also marks the beginning of a very busy week.
I remember choir rehearsals in earnest because we would be singing during a series of services. Our church usually had a service for the last supper where we would have the washing of the feet ceremony. Our minister and members of the church would recreate the moment when Jesus washed his disciples’ feet in a display of his humility and servanthood. We would have a communion service to commemorate the last time Jesus broke bread with his followers before his death and when he foretold of Judas’ betrayal.
One service that is closest to my heart is the Seven Last Words on Good Friday. We start off the service at one o’clock in the afternoon. We have seven speakers, a mixture of lay members and ministers, all speaking about the biblical basis of Jesus’ seven last statements. Interspersed with the short sermons are songs by the choir. The choir chronicles the last 24 hours of Jesus’ life with songs commemorating the kiss in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus’ journey carrying the cross through the Via Dolorosa, His nailing on the cross, His message to His disciple entrusting his mother into his care and His subsequent surrender of His spirit and His life into His Father’s hands. Each song that we sings makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end because all the songs just underline the great sacrifice that The Lord undertook to save the world. And because the songs paint a picture of how it was to be there, it just shakes me down to my foundations. What it must have felt to be there!
We usually finish at three o’clock which is popularly believed to be the time of his death. After all the speakers have finished their messages, and the choir have sung all their songs, the church is stripped as a sign of mourning. Because Christ is dead and we are bereft without His divine presence.
Black Saturday is usually celebrated in silence, in contemplation. Nothing really happens on a Saturday. But the choir does try to sneak in a few hours of practice because we do have a sunrise service and an Easter Sunday service to sing in.
Easter Sunday is celebrated in so many ways. But my favourite is a sunrise start. We have an Easter sunrise service where messages of hope, joy and salvation resound in the sermons and the songs from the choir. As a Christian, it is lovely to greet the brand new rays of the sun with the reassurance that Christ is not dead, He is alive and sitting at His Father’s right hand and waiting to come back for all of us. We have an Easter Sunday service (yes, after the sunrise service, which is usually an ecumenical service with all the Christian churches in our community) that finishes with a lovely (and very traditional) Easter egg hunt for the children.
While I will enjoy the odd chocolate bunny and the occasional chocolate egg, and enjoy the bank holiday and the respite from the rat race, the reason for the season will always resonate in my heart. I will always know that Easter is the celebration of Christ’s resurrection, Christ’s ascension to heaven. It is the fulfillment of the promises in the Bible.
Easter will always bring me hope, joy and a wonderful reminder of my salvation by Christ, but I will always feel a twinge in my heart because I will be missing my church family and the fellowship of Christians that I grew up with. It is always wonderful to celebrate the fulfillment of God’s promises with like-minded individuals.
Fairview Park United Methodist Church – photo credit: Matt de Guzman
Breakfast will always start one’s day right. I remember when I was growing up, Mama would never let us leave the house until we had a hot breakfast; we simply had to eat. I’m afraid to say that I haven’t kept up the practice. I get ready for work and rush out the door. In the process, I think I may have screwed up my eating habits!
I am a Christian by faith and a Protestant Methodist by denomination. I am proud to say I grew up in church, and I am thankful that I did. Living away from everyone I love can be difficult, to say the least. When you are, essentially, alone, there is very little to cling to: and for me it was my God and my faith in the God that sustains me. I am thankful to be blessed with a faith that strengthens me and I am blessed because my faith in my God has sustained me during the toughest times of my life. It has been challenging living away from everything familiar but that in itself has strengthened my faith.
I walk past the Chelmsford cathedral everyday as I walk to work and everyday I whisper a prayer for God to bless my day, for God to take control of my day, for God to help me achieve what I need to achieve, and my most fervent desire, for me to be a blessing to others. Somehow those words quickly whispered set my day off perfectly. Because I lift my day up to the Lord, whatever good, whatever bad, my day is the Lord’s.
I am reminded of a prayer I used to read and reread. It was a prayer I posted in my old blog. It was a prayer for concentration at work because the work environment then wasn’t conducive to concentration (there was a lot of swearing going around and being in an environment where profanity and bad language is about is never conducive to real positivity, I think!). It was based on a prayer I also read online and a prayer that I adapted so that it fit my thoughts. It’s helped me. I thought I’d post it here again, because it might help someone else.
Dear Father,
I draw near You to seek Your help. I have the assurance that You love me so very much. Lord, the Scripture says that You love the prosperity of Your children. You know the importance of being able to concentrate at work. Father, bless me with Your guidance and let me work on my things to do list properly. Lord, I confess that I get distracted easily; I have more interest in less important things instead of what is urgent in my in-tray.
Please forgive me and gird me with You grace (I love the word gird Lord, because it makes me feel like I am going to battle, and oh I do love a battle! See Lord, I am digressing, yet again!) and strength so that I concentrate in my work. Without Your help I cannot achieve any success Lord!
Please help me to overcome all my weaknesses and strengthen my mind. Take full control of my wandering thoughts and give me Your wisdom and knowledge. Let me shine at work, Heavenly Father and let me be a blessing to to everyone. I lift all this up in Jesus’ name.
Christmas will always require celebration for me. I grew up with my mum drumming into me how important Christmas is, how important it is to celebrate the occasion of Christ’s birth. Growing up in church has made Christmas a more spiritual occasion. It was all about the birth of the Saviour, the Word being made flesh. It has always been the day of the year that reminds me most of God’s love, grace and mercy. That’s why, no matter how small, Christmas had to be celebrated, there had to be a tree, there had to be decorations to celebrate it, there had to be presents to share and there had to be a Noche Buena at midnight! There should always be an effort to be made for Christmas because all the gift giving and all the food preparation is part of the celebration. It is one of , if not the most important days in the Christian calendar.
Whatever you do today, however you celebrate the season, whatever your faith, have a wonderfully happy and very blesssed Christmas!
Yellywelly 