I am a horrible, horrible person.
I am still feeling so unsettled about a fleeting interaction I had with a random stranger. On Sunday, I got woken up at 7:23am by a person barking at me on the phone. It was an Amazon delivery person and they were complaining that my door panel wasn’t working, that it was crap. I got up, and asked if he was at the door of my building – I gave him my building name — “Of course!” he barked again. I gave him instructions on how to use the number panel while I walked to my door phone and waited. No ring. I asked if he could try again to press my flat number and then the call button. Again he barked, “It’s crap! Broken!” So I said I’d come down. In lightning speed, I got decent, wiped the sleep from my eyes, scraped my hair into an awkward ponytail, and reminded myself to wake up and that I shouldn’t trip on the stairs.
I walked down as quickly and as carefully as my sleepy brain could manage and congratulated myself for getting to my building’s front door without any mishaps. But there was no one at the front door. No angry Amazon delivery driver. In a moment of clarity, I realised the man was probably at the wrong building, it was either that or I was going to be mugged and killed before 8am on a sunny Sunday morning in a quiet area of North London! I was outside my building! Alone!
Then I saw him rushing. Sorry! Sorry! he shouted. I said I asked you if you were at the right building and pointed at the signage. He barked my flat number and I said yes and he all but shoved my packages at me. Fine, I said and I turned and walked away without looking at the Amazon guy. As soon as I got into the building I double-checked that the packages were indeed mine and I went back up to my flat.
I feel bad though. I could’ve handled that interaction better. Instead of acting like a petulant, self-entitled person, I could’ve handled that with more grace. Instead, I allowed myself to feed off the stress the man was obviously already feeling. I’m sure he had several deliveries to make and a limited time to complete the deliveries.
Choose positivity, I always say. If you have nothing nice to say, stay silent I usually say. Kindness is as kindness does, I always preach. Was I kind that morning? No, I wasn’t.
And that still weighs heavily on me.
Yellywelly 